IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is ? What measure can government take to discourage people from using their cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jam #measure #government #people #cars
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There is no denying that facts that
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 ownership rate got higher in the
last
Linking Words
 3 decades that many cities in the world are suffering from traffic
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss what steps should the
government
Use synonyms
 take to lower the rate of traffic and how to make
people
Use synonyms
 off from using
thier
Correct your spelling
their
cars
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of different types of solutions for traffic
firstly
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 should provide suitable public transportation
in other words
Linking Words
 the public transportation should be affordable and accessible and convenient to everyone and connects all parts of the city so
people
Use synonyms
 can go where they want and the public transportation must work all day
twenty four
Add a hyphen
twenty-four
show examples
 hours
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 should provides more online jobs
for instance
Linking Words
 some jobs
such
Linking Words
 as software engineering can be worked from home
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 the governments can divide the school students to
two part
Add a hyphen
two-part
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 A and B and one go to school and another study online In terms of encouraging
people
Use synonyms
from using
Change preposition
to use
show examples
 their
cars
Use synonyms
 . Lots of different ways to stop the citizens from using
thier
Correct your spelling
their
vichels
Correct your spelling
vocals
 a lot
such
Linking Words
 as increasing the prices
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 increasing fuel costs or increasing
Use synonyms
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 or putting high taxes on
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who uses his car over the limit or the
government
Use synonyms
 can put
rule
Add an article
a rule
show examples
 that no can drive his car over 4 hours
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. In conclusion,there are many steps to take to make
people
Use synonyms
 off from
thier
Correct your spelling
their
cars
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amjadalsamman on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure to write a clear and concise introduction and conclusion for your essay. This helps provide a solid structure and makes your argument more compelling.
logical structure
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Use paragraphs to separate your ideas clearly and make them flow logically from one point to the next.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Avoid repetition and ensure all your sentences are clear and contribute to your main argument. Proofreading could help in reducing any redundancies and improving clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses important measures that the government can take to reduce car usage and traffic congestion. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
The idea of providing affordable and accessible public transportation is a strong point and very relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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