The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #summaries #information #features #comparisons

The chart provides information about the expenditure on

Food

and

drink

, restaurant and

hotel

and entertainment among 5 different

age

groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

Overall

, the data shows that

food

and

drink

has been increased over time for all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ages.

However

, the restaurants and hotels from under

age

30 to 60 had a downward in percentage. Under 30, restaurant and

hotel

has decreased around 15%.

However

, the upward activities under 30

age

is the

food

and

drink

. From 31 to 60, the rate of

food

and

drink

has been

Change preposition

show examples

the same range

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

12%.

However

Correct article usage

the 61

show examples

-75 group ages

hitting

Wrong verb form

hit

show examples

the lowest point in

resturant

Correct your spelling

restaurants

and

hotel

Fix the agreement mistake

hotels

show examples

than all other ages.

furthermore

, the entertainment suddenly increased about 22%.

In addition

, the data shows 76 and above

age

group has the highest range in

food

and

drink

. Unlike the

resturant

Correct your spelling

restaurant

and

hotel

activities which around 7

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

. Entertainment has low point around 13% in

age

76+.

Submitted by modhialarjani1999 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words food, drink, hotel, age with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

158 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobsfor personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.