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Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people understand the need for more diversity in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) fields, but few women decide to study and work in STEM fields. Schools and universities should implement specific programs to encourage and support women in doing careers in STEM fields

#people #diversity #science #technology #mathematics #fields #women #study #work #schools #universities #programs #support #careers
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Increasing diversity in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) is essential for fostering innovation and addressing complex global challenges. Despite growing awareness, the participation of
women
Use synonyms
 in STEM remains disproportionately low.
This
Linking Words
 gender gap stems from various factors, including societal stereotypes, lack of role models, and limited access to resources and encouragement from an early age. Schools and universities play a crucial role in bridging
this
Linking Words
 gap by implementing targeted programs that encourage and support
women
Use synonyms
 in pursuing STEM careers. Educational institutions should focus on creating an inclusive environment where female students feel empowered to explore STEM subjects.
This
Linking Words
 can be achieved by offering mentorship programs, scholarships, and workshops that specifically address the challenges
women
Use synonyms
 face in these fields.
Additionally
Linking Words
, showcasing successful
women
Use synonyms
 in STEM as role models can inspire and motivate young
women
Use synonyms
 to follow similar paths. Encouraging collaboration and providing networking opportunities within the STEM community can
further
Linking Words
 help
women
Use synonyms
 build confidence and gain valuable experience. By actively promoting and supporting
women
Use synonyms
's participation in STEM through these initiatives, schools and universities can contribute to a more balanced and diverse workforce, ultimately driving progress and innovation in these critical fields.
Submitted by Andy on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, provide more specific examples and statistics that underscore the gender gap in STEM fields. This can offer stronger evidence and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Include a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and reinforces the importance of implementing targeted programs to support women in STEM.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the topic, covering the importance of diversity and the role of educational institutions in encouraging women in STEM fields.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, with a clear introduction and body paragraphs that systematically address the issue and propose solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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