More and more people understand the need for more diversity in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) fields, but few women decide to study and work in STEM fields. Schools and universities should implement specific programs to encourage and support women in doing careers in STEM fields

#people #diversity #science #technology #mathematics #fields #women #study #work #schools #universities #programs #support #careers

Increasing diversity in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) is essential for fostering innovation and addressing complex global challenges. Despite growing awareness, the participation of

women

in STEM remains disproportionately low.

This

gender gap stems from various factors, including societal stereotypes, lack of role models, and limited access to resources and encouragement from an early age. Schools and universities play a crucial role in bridging

this

gap by implementing targeted programs that encourage and support

women

in pursuing STEM careers. Educational institutions should focus on creating an inclusive environment where female students feel empowered to explore STEM subjects.

This

can be achieved by offering mentorship programs, scholarships, and workshops that specifically address the challenges

women

face in these fields.

Additionally

, showcasing successful

women

in STEM as role models can inspire and motivate young

women

to follow similar paths. Encouraging collaboration and providing networking opportunities within the STEM community can

further

help

women

build confidence and gain valuable experience. By actively promoting and supporting

women

's participation in STEM through these initiatives, schools and universities can contribute to a more balanced and diverse workforce, ultimately driving progress and innovation in these critical fields.

Submitted by Andy on Fri Aug 09 2024

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task achievement

To achieve a higher score, provide more specific examples and statistics that underscore the gender gap in STEM fields. This can offer stronger evidence and make your argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Include a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and reinforces the importance of implementing targeted programs to support women in STEM.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the topic, covering the importance of diversity and the role of educational institutions in encouraging women in STEM fields.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, with a clear introduction and body paragraphs that systematically address the issue and propose solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

191 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

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