You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for you job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • describe the training course you want to do • explain what the company could do to help you • say how the course will be useful for your job

#work #company #advertisement #course #job #manager

Dear sir or madam I work for an international

company

and I have seen an advertisement for a training

course

which will be useful for my job.

Iʼm

Correct your spelling

I am

writing to my

company

manager. I want to

Spanish

language

course

because most of our

companies

Fix the agreement mistake

company

show examples

employees do not speak

Spanish

and I can speak

Spanish

. I think

Spanish

Change the article

the Spanish

show examples

language

very

Add a missing verb

is very

show examples

popular and our

companies

Change the noun form

company

show examples

employees should learn that

language

. I want you to give me a comfortable room from our

company

to take classes. I think it would be

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

help

Correct your spelling

show examples

you could give me a comfortable room and

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

equipment. I believe that the

language

course

is very important for our

company

. Because our

company

is international and I believe that our employees should be able to speak at least more than three languages. And a

Spanish

language

course

will be very useful. Because most of our

company

's clients communicate in

Spanish

and the rest in English. I can speak

Spanish

fluently and I can help other workers.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

The letter should have a clearer structure. Each paragraph should cover one main point to improve readability and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. You can use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs better.

task achievement

While the letter provides relevant information, it could be more detailed. Include specifics about the course such as its duration, cost, and content.

task achievement

The tone is generally appropriate but ensure it remains professional and courteous throughout. For example, 'Dear Sir or Madam' is a good start, but you could use 'Yours sincerely' for the closing if you know the name of the manager you're addressing.

task achievement

You have addressed the main points of the task: describing the course, explaining how the company can help, and stating the benefit of the course for the job.

suitable writing tone

The tone of the letter is polite and shows a clear request for support.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

169 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

professional development
training course
skillset enhancement
educational leave
sponsorship
reimbursement
knowledge integration
work efficiency
career progression
continuing education
team contribution
productivity boost
expertise building
industry standards
hands-on experience
networking opportunities
cutting-edge techniques
best practices
return on investment
in-house training

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