IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for you job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • describe the training course you want to do • explain what the company could do to help you • say how the course will be useful for your job

#work #company #advertisement #course #job #manager
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Dear sir or madam I work for an international
company
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 and I have seen an advertisement for a training
course
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 which will be useful for my job.
Iʼm
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I am
 writing to my
company
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 manager. I want to
Spanish
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language
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course
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 because most of our
companies
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company
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 employees do not speak
Spanish
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 and I can speak
Spanish
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. I think
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Spanish
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the Spanish
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language
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very
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is very
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 popular and our
companies
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company
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 employees should learn that
language
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. I want you to give me a comfortable room from our
company
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 to take classes. I think it would be
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 help
Of
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If
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 you could give me a comfortable room and
necessary
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the necessary
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 equipment. I believe that the
language
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course
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 is very important for our
company
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. Because our
company
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 is international and I believe that our employees should be able to speak at least more than three languages. And a
Spanish
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language
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course
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 will be very useful. Because most of our
company
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's clients communicate in
Spanish
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 and the rest in English. I can speak
Spanish
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 fluently and I can help other workers.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
The letter should have a clearer structure. Each paragraph should cover one main point to improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. You can use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs better.
task achievement
While the letter provides relevant information, it could be more detailed. Include specifics about the course such as its duration, cost, and content.
task achievement
The tone is generally appropriate but ensure it remains professional and courteous throughout. For example, 'Dear Sir or Madam' is a good start, but you could use 'Yours sincerely' for the closing if you know the name of the manager you're addressing.
task achievement
You have addressed the main points of the task: describing the course, explaining how the company can help, and stating the benefit of the course for the job.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is polite and shows a clear request for support.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional development
  • training course
  • skillset enhancement
  • educational leave
  • sponsorship
  • reimbursement
  • knowledge integration
  • work efficiency
  • career progression
  • continuing education
  • team contribution
  • productivity boost
  • expertise building
  • industry standards
  • hands-on experience
  • networking opportunities
  • cutting-edge techniques
  • best practices
  • return on investment
  • in-house training
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