There is a problem with the changing room in the sports centre that you visit.You have complained several times but with no success Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre.In your letter: •describe what the problem with the changing room is •say what happened last time you complained •explain what you want the manager to do

Dear Sir or Madam, I'm Ravshanva Mushtariy. I'm writing in order to complain about the sports
centers
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centres
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that I visit
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
. The condition of the changing room is
such
a dissatisfaction and I believe that the problem will warrant your attention. My first concern is the poor cleanliness in the changing room. The floors are wet and slippery and it's causing a dangerous environment.It's because
last
Correct article usage
the last
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time I visited there I almost ended up being injured.
Also
, some of the lockers are broken and lack of the lockers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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creating
such
a big issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
big issues
a big issue
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. Added to
this
,
changing
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the changing
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room has an unpleasant smell and I think it's unhygienic.
Furthermore
, there's
also
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
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with the showers.
Last
Correct article usage
The last
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time I visited there, I was disappointed. It's because I ended up not finding any locker to place my stuff. I would like to request that,it would be great if there was a purchase of additional lockers.
Furthermore
, it would be great if you
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
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the cleanliness of the floor and
try
Wrong verb form
tried
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to avoid slippery so it would be less dangerous for the users.And I would love to see changes in the showers Thanks for your attention to these matters Yours faithfully , Ravshanova Mushtariy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical flow by structuring paragraphs more clearly. For instance, keep each complaint separate and fully detailed in their own paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Avoid merging multiple ideas in the same paragraph. Separate issues like cleanliness, lockers, and showers for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriately formal and polite, fitting the context well.
task achievement
The overall tone of the letter is suitable for a formal complaint, reflecting concern and polite urgency.
task achievement
All parts of the task are addressed, including describing the problem, detailing a past complaint, and suggesting solutions.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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