There is a problem with the changing room in the sports centre that you visit.You have complained several times but with no success Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre.In your letter: •describe what the problem with the changing room is •say what happened last time you complained •explain what you want the manager to do

#room #sports #centre #visit #times #success #manager #•describe #•say #time #•explain

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Dear Sir or Madam, I'm Ravshanva Mushtariy. I'm writing in order to complain about the sports

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

that I visit

oftenly

Correct your spelling

often

. The condition of the changing room is

such

Linking Words

a dissatisfaction and I believe that the problem will warrant your attention. My first concern is the poor cleanliness in the changing room. The floors are wet and slippery and it's causing a dangerous environment.It's because

Linking Words

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

time I visited there I almost ended up being injured.

Also

Linking Words

, some of the lockers are broken and lack of the lockers

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

creating

such

Linking Words

a big issues

Correct the article-noun agreement

big issues

a big issue

show examples

. Added to

this

Linking Words

changing

Correct article usage

the changing

show examples

room has an unpleasant smell and I think it's unhygienic.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there's

also

Linking Words

problem

Add an article

a problem

the problem

show examples

with the showers.

Linking Words

Last

Correct article usage

The last

show examples

time I visited there, I was disappointed. It's because I ended up not finding any locker to place my stuff. I would like to request that,it would be great if there was a purchase of additional lockers.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it would be great if you

maintain

Wrong verb form

maintained

show examples

the cleanliness of the floor and

try

Wrong verb form

tried

show examples

to avoid slippery so it would be less dangerous for the users.And I would love to see changes in the showers Thanks for your attention to these matters Yours faithfully , Ravshanova Mushtariy

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure the logical flow by structuring paragraphs more clearly. For instance, keep each complaint separate and fully detailed in their own paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Avoid merging multiple ideas in the same paragraph. Separate issues like cleanliness, lockers, and showers for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriately formal and polite, fitting the context well.

task achievement

The overall tone of the letter is suitable for a formal complaint, reflecting concern and polite urgency.

task achievement

All parts of the task are addressed, including describing the problem, detailing a past complaint, and suggesting solutions.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

201 words

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, many countries help other countries by giving free food, medical, or other aid. What are the benefits and drawbacks of this for countries that give and receive?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Most school offers some type of physical education program to their students. Why is it important? Should physical education classes be required or optional?