To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?
In modern
society
the kind of Add a comma
society,
children
Change noun form
children's
meal
at schools has been an issue that sparks Fix the agreement mistake
meals
a
considerable debate amongst Correct article usage
apply
people
. A majority of people
believe that the
Correct article usage
apply
children
should eat healthy food
at schools to get an effective learning. In this
essay
I will write my opinion about the subject and give Add a comma
essay,
a
reasons and examples to Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
support
my view
.
First of all, there are multitude
of reasons made the Add an article
a multitude
people
support
the view
of
Change preposition
that
children
need to eat a healthy meal at school
to get an
effective learning specifically Remove the article
apply
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
understood
the risks of Wrong verb form
understand
the
unhealthy Correct article usage
apply
food
, for example
when the child eat
Correct subject-verb agreement
eats
unhealthy
or fatty meal it might Add an article
an unhealthy
made
him feel sleepy or tired Change the verb form
be made
make
furthermore
based on studies many people
believe that the kind of food
directly effect on the child’s focus and will help them to increase think effectively. Finally
because of these Add a comma
Finally,
reasons
it is clear there are a number of Add a comma
reasons,
people
who support
the view
of
Change preposition
that
children
need to eat healthy meal
at Fix the agreement mistake
meals
school
to get effective learning.
As well as
this
, there are a number of people
who believe that the Ministry of Education and the management of the school
responsible
Add a missing verb
are responsible
to provide
Change preposition
for providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
food
for school
children
. Other people
demanding
the Ministry of Wrong verb form
demand
education
to setting a standard Capitalize word
Education
of
Change preposition
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
’s meals and the
schools provide the meals based on the Correct word choice
that the
ministry’s
Capitalize word
Ministry’s
standard
, Fix the agreement mistake
standards
lastly
it Add a comma
lastly,
Add a missing verb
is clearly
clearly
that a majority of Change the word
clear
people
support
the view
of
Change preposition
apply
the
healthy Correct determiner usage
that
meal
increase the Fix the agreement mistake
meals
effectivity
of learning.
In conclusion, it is evident that a large number of Replace the word
effectiveness
people
believe that children
should eat a healthy
Remove the article
healthy food
a portion of healthy food
food
at school
. I firmly agree with this
view
as was evident in the evidence and examplesSubmitted by ziyadalkhudier on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay provides a fair answer to the tasks presented, discussing the importance of healthy meals for effective learning and allocating responsibility for providing these meals.
task achievement
Ensure you fully develop your ideas with clear examples and detailed arguments. This would enhance the comprehensiveness of your responses.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, it would benefit from better-structured main paragraphs, ensuring each idea flows logically into the next.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing your transitions between points. Use linking words to create smoother and more logical progression.
task achievement
Your essay would be strengthened with more specific examples to support your general statements. This reinforces your points and provides concrete evidence for your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both parts of the question and articulates a clear stance on the importance of healthy meals in schools.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.