You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part-time job. Write a letter to the restaurant's manager. In your letter, -explain that you would like to apply for the job -give some details of any relevant experience that you have -specify the days and times that would suit you

#restaurant #job #manager #-explain #-give #-specify #times

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to apply for a local

restaurant

that I noticed. I have seen your advertisement on TV and I would like to know more about it because I have been searching for a

job

this

Furthermore

, the location of your

restaurant

is near to my house and I always wish to obtain a

job

like that.

This

is because I

Verb problem

apply

show examples

love working in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

local places like restaurants. So

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I would like to apply for

this

job

. If you want to find out about my experience

that is

related to your work. I have worked as a chef in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

Chinese

restaurant

for 2 years and

also

I have been in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

France. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

France

Add a comma

France,

show examples

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

had a

job

from

Change preposition

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another

restaurant

which was

well-known

Add an article

a well-known

show examples

place in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Yevrope.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

I have only worked there for seven months.

Furthermore

, I have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

some kind of skills which you need

Change preposition

for

show examples

your

restaurant

like conversation skills or computer skills.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

I have learnt English,

France

Replace the word

French

show examples

and Chinese languages.

Clearly

Add a comma

Clearly,

show examples

I need a

job

that I must work a -time

job

. So I think I can work in your

restaurant

all the week but we need to talk about the time that must be suitable for me. If I tell you about my time that would suit me is from 6am to 11am. Because these times I do not have anything to do and

also

I always hang out with my fellow in the evening. I think it is all for now. If you want to know more about me, you can call my phone mobile phone number which is: 507504008. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Ashurov Sardor

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Sat Aug 10 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

You should focus on structuring your letter better. There's room for improvement especially in giving a single idea per paragraph. This makes your writing more readable.

Task Achievement

Double-check your sentences for grammatical accuracy and appropriateness. Specifically, ensure subject-verb agreement and proper use of articles.

Task Achievement

The letter includes all the necessary points as a response to the task: applying for the job, giving details of relevant experience, and specifying available times.

Coherence & Cohesion

The closing of the letter is appropriately polite and formal, which is suitable for this type of correspondence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part-time job. Write a letter to the restaurant's manager. In your letter, -explain that you would like to apply for the job -give some details of any relevant experience that you have -specify the days and times that would suit you

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country., while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and giye your opinion.

space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.