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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the cost of water in 5 cities in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The table shows the cost of water in 5 cities in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#cost #water #cities #australia #summarise #information #features
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The given table with 3 different
categores
Correct your spelling
categories
 illustrates expenses on water in various tows in Australia,
that is
Linking Words
 called
Adelaide
Use synonyms
,
Brisbane
Use synonyms
, Melbourn,
Perth
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Perth
Use synonyms
 has the most expensive average bill per
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 Melbourne has the
cheepest
Correct your spelling
cheapest
 total bill.
Additionallly
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Additionally
, there are
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
 countries that have
differents
Correct your spelling
differences
show examples
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
 total
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
.
Firsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, there are two urban areas with the highest cost, it is
Perth
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
, 332$ and 319$, respectively.
Perth
Use synonyms
, spend 0.42$ on usange change per kiloliter up to 125
KL
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
expend
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 0.98$ on the same category. The next is
usange
Correct your spelling
usage
using
chage
Correct your spelling
change
charge
 per kiloliter over 125
KL
Use synonyms
, here
Perth
Use synonyms
 has
signifacantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 more
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 than it was.
While
Linking Words
Sydney
Use synonyms
 has no changes as it was in
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
table
Add a comma
table,
show examples
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 another two cities with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
simular
Correct your spelling
similar
show examples
 total.
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 has 312$ and
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 has 310$.
Adelaide
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,
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 0.42$ on
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 category,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 has slightly more 0.81$. Despite
this
Linking Words
, in
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 group
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 exceeds the chandes, 1.00$.
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 did not
chande
Correct your spelling
change
 a lot, 0.84$. Third and the
last
Linking Words
 one
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 Melbourne, the average bill is 253$.
This
Linking Words
 town has the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
lowest indicator in
this
Linking Words
 table. The cost in usage change per kiloliter up to 125
KL
Use synonyms
 and over 125
KL
Use synonyms
 did not change at all it is stable 0.78$.
Submitted by bellovanina97 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words adelaide, brisbane, perth, sydney, kl with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 4 times.
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