The diagram below shows how oil is expected in use of production of perfume

The diagram below shows how oil is expected in use of production of perfume
The following diagram represents how
oil
is used as a part of perfume production.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that it
comprised
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is comprised
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with
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of
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four key processes: heating, vapourization, condensation, and
seperation
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separation
.
However
, it is interesting to note that they applied the basic knowledge of sciences, especially in terms of temperature and density. Starting with heating as the first step, the fire boiled up the
water
in a big large flask. When the
water
reached
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reaches
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its maximum boiling point, it will generate
a
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apply
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steam that
flow
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flows
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above the
water
and
wind
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winds
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through along the pipeline.
Secondly
,
this
stage
known
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is known
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as Vapourization, as the steam undergoes
the a
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the
a
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rectangular
tank
filled with aromatic plants in order to fuse with desirable scents and
created
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create
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a
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apply
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steam with
oil
vapor
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vapour
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.
Third,
condensation, the product from
this
phase
continue
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continues
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to the spiral and spring-like pipeline called condenser on the top which
fit
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fits
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inside the two distinct
temperature
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temperatures
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of
water
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the water
a water
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tank
. The heated products release
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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heat
while
traveling
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travelling
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down to
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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level, the warmer
water
stay
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stays
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on the top and
pumped
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is pumped
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out of the
tank
whereas
the cooler
water
is pumped inside to
cooling
Wrong verb form
cool
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it. Eventually,
this
process
turn
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turns
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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steams
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steam
show examples
into liquid form, making it
a
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apply
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water
mixed with essential
oil
.
Lastly
, the mixture will flow to the
seperator
Correct your spelling
separator
tank
which will
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
the essential
oil
out of the hydrolat or aromatic
water
. Generally,
oil
is much denser making it float on the top of the
tank
which is easy to distinguish it from
water
and pumped out through a connected tube.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, water, tank with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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