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Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how oil is expected in use of production of perfume

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The diagram below shows how oil is expected in use of production of perfume
The following diagram represents how
oil
Use synonyms
 is used as a part of perfume production.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that it
comprised
Add a missing verb
is comprised
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with
Change preposition
of
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 four key processes: heating, vapourization, condensation, and
seperation
Correct your spelling
separation
.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that they applied the basic knowledge of sciences, especially in terms of temperature and density. Starting with heating as the first step, the fire boiled up the
water
Use synonyms
 in a big large flask. When the
water
Use synonyms
reached
Wrong verb form
reaches
show examples
 its maximum boiling point, it will generate
a
Remove the article
apply
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steam that
flow
Change the verb form
flows
show examples
 above the
water
Use synonyms
 and
wind
Fix the agreement mistake
winds
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 through along the pipeline.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 stage
known
Add a missing verb
is known
show examples
 as Vapourization, as the steam undergoes
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 rectangular
tank
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 filled with aromatic plants in order to fuse with desirable scents and
created
Wrong verb form
create
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a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
steam with
oil
Use synonyms
vapor
Change the spelling
vapour
show examples
.
Third,
Linking Words
condensation, the product from
this
Linking Words
 phase
continue
Change the verb form
continues
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 to the spiral and spring-like pipeline called condenser on the top which
fit
Correct subject-verb agreement
fits
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 inside the two distinct
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
water
Add an article
the water
a water
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tank
Use synonyms
. The heated products release
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 heat
while
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 down to
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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 level, the warmer
water
Use synonyms
stay
Change the verb form
stays
show examples
 on the top and
pumped
Add a missing verb
is pumped
show examples
 out of the
tank
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the cooler
water
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 is pumped inside to
cooling
Wrong verb form
cool
show examples
 it. Eventually,
this
Linking Words
 process
turn
Change the verb form
turns
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
steams
Correct subject-verb agreement
steam
show examples
 into liquid form, making it
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 mixed with essential
oil
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the mixture will flow to the
seperator
Correct your spelling
separator
tank
Use synonyms
 which will
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 the essential
oil
Use synonyms
 out of the hydrolat or aromatic
water
Use synonyms
. Generally,
oil
Use synonyms
 is much denser making it float on the top of the
tank
Use synonyms
 which is easy to distinguish it from
water
Use synonyms
 and pumped out through a connected tube.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, water, tank with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
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