The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The three maps depict significant changes which have happened in the
area
of Queen Mary Hospital in three several years
such
as 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Overall
, the
area
had changed considerably with the changing of the buildings
such
as shopping
centre
and pharmacy. Regarding
Correct article usage
the nourth
show examples
nourth
Correct your spelling
north
side, it is interesting to note that there had been a
redevelpment
Correct your spelling
redevelopment
development
of
shopping
Add an article
the shopping
show examples
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
into cancer
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
and
pharmace
Correct your spelling
pharmacy
in 1980.
However
,
cancer
Add an article
the cancer
show examples
centre
was enlarged by
relocated
Add an article
the relocated
show examples
nursing
school
and
takes
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
that
area
in 2000. In terms of
south
Add an article
the south
show examples
side,there used to be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
farmland in the southwest of the
area
in 1960, but by 1980, the farmland had been removed and replaced by a nursing
school
.
In contrast
, by 2000, a notable change occurred with the nursing
school
and car park being reduced in size, and the nursing
school
was relocated near the car park.
Submitted by alharrasialanood7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, centre, school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • initial facilities
  • replacement
  • significant extension
  • absorbed
  • developments
  • introduction
  • adjacent
  • evolution
  • enhancing healthcare services
  • commercial spaces
  • medical facilities
  • expansion
  • modern healthcare needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: