IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart illustrates the people that do not have a
job
Use synonyms
 to work spent
time
Use synonyms
 doing some activities for the
last
Linking Words
 year. In general, both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 spent their
time
Use synonyms
 on
housework
Use synonyms
 , shopping and
job
Use synonyms
 hunting in the morning.
However
Linking Words
, in the afternoon ,
men
Use synonyms
 watch TV and
women
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 spend
time
Use synonyms
 doing the
housework
Use synonyms
. Having looked
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 chart for more details,
it is clear that
Linking Words
, 22% of
men
Use synonyms
 in the morning spent
time
Use synonyms
 shopping the most,
job
Use synonyms
 hunting and
housework
Use synonyms
 had slightly lower percentages, 19% and 20%. There are three main activities that
men
Use synonyms
 spend
time
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
.
Women
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 had 3 activities the same as
men
Use synonyms
, but
housework
Use synonyms
 was the highest percentage with 49% ,which was much more than
men
Use synonyms
. In the afternoon, it had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slightly changed.
Men
Use synonyms
 spent
almost
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 watching TV
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
14%, gardening,
job
Use synonyms
 hunting and visiting friends or relatives had nearly changed by about 12-13%.
However
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 still spent
time
Use synonyms
 on
housework
Use synonyms
 í the most with 21%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words job, time, men, women, housework with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: