two trends show population of suthern pacific ocean countries frome 1950and projections of 2040.one by urban/rural country, and the other is breakdown by age group.
The line chart provides information about the population of
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the suthern
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suthern
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southern
pacific ocean
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Pacific Ocean
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in Total, Rural and Urban from 1950 and 2040, and the other is
breakdown
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broken down
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by
age
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group
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.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
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, Total clearly shows the highest point than the other country.
In addition
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,
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age
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the age
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group
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from 15-65 years old increase the rate
around
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to around
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35 in 2040.
Body paragraph 2
Total
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The total
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was the upward of number population from 1950 to 2040.
However
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, in 2040 Total and Urban
is
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are
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very close
number
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numbers
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around 40.
Body paragraph 3
Furthermore
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,
accourding
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according
the
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to the
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data Urban have
a
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the
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same rate
about
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of about
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5 from 1950 to 2040.
Body paragraph 4
The data shows the
age
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group
Use synonyms
frome
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from
15- 65 years old was to
contiuny
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continue
to raise, unlike the other
age
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group
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.
Conclusion
In 1950, population in the
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age
Replace the word
aged
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15-65 and over 65 was the same range about 2.5 .
Morever
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Moreover
, the
age
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group
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from 15 to over 65 have
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a stabel
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stabel
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stable
rate
around
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of around
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5 from 1960 to 2040.
modhialarjani1999
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task achievement
Ensure to clearly differentiate between 'Total', 'Urban', and 'Rural' categories when describing the data to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay by clearly structuring the paragraphs to discuss one data trend at a time; for instance, first discuss the population trends in 'Total', 'Urban', and 'Rural' and then move on to the age group breakdown.
supported main points
Use more specific details and data points from the chart to support your descriptions and comparisons.
introduction conclusion present
Add a clearer introduction to set the context of the essay and a stronger conclusion to summarize the key points discussed.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay provides a general overview of the data trends, identifying key points such as the increase in the total population and the rise in the 15-65 age group.
relevant specific examples
The comparison between different categories (Total, Urban, Rural) is attempted, which adds depth to the analysis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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