IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000. Write a report describing the information in the graph below.

The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000. Write a report describing the information in the graph below.
#fertility #rate #women #gulf #countries #report #information
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The provided bar chart serves as an insightful illustration of the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
fertility
Use synonyms
 in females in six countries (Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar, Oman, S. Arabia, and UAE) over the span of a decade starting from 1990 to 2000. The
overall
Linking Words
 impression of the chart is that the
fertility
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 was higher in 1990 as compared to
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000. It is worth mentioning that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Oman and Saudi are the countries with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
fertility
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 in women.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Kuwait and Bahrain had the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Bahrain and Kuwait had almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 in both the years (1990 and 2000), 3.5 and 2.5
respecively
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
However
Linking Words
, Qatar and UAE had similar
fertility
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1990 i.e. a little over 4. But, in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000 UAE
fertility
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 dropped significantly
while
Linking Words
 Qatar faced a slight drop. In
year
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the year
show examples
 1990, Oman had the highest
rate
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 of
fertility
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 in women, peaking at 7
every
Change preposition
in every
show examples
 8 women
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fertile, followed by Saudi Arabia at
6.8
Correct article usage
a 6.8
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 of
fertility
Use synonyms
. But, a decade later both the countries had exactly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 ratio of
fertility
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, fertility with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fertility rate
  • trend
  • significant increase
  • significant decrease
  • Gulf countries
  • data
  • analyze
  • compare
  • overall
  • individual country
  • highlight
  • predict
  • period
  • rate changes
  • decline
  • rise
  • fluctuate
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