Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high School programs (for example working for a charity improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports youngsters).To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighbourhood #sports #youngsters

I have been living in Brisbane, Australia for approximately one year. Since I came here,

the

Change the word

show examples

main purpose was

learning

Change the verb form

to learn

show examples

English as a second language,

then

I took an intensive

program

course at ILSC

college

Capitalize word

College

show examples

focused on

IELTS

Correct article usage

the IELTS

show examples

test in order to learn not only vocabulary but

also

all

required

Correct article usage

the required

show examples

techniques to reach a high score. In July, I took my IELTS test, achieving an

Overall

Score of 7.5, and my current English level at the school is A2 ++ with an attendance of more than 95%. I

attach

Wrong verb form

have attached

show examples

the supporting evidence of my school attendance and the IELTS certificate Nowadays, once I have already reached my language target, I have considered taking

this

‘Graduate Diploma’ because of its well-balanced curriculum.

This

program

offers an integrative educational

program

with core and specialization subjects, having special training in digital and health informatics

as well as

Health Policy and Advocacy’ which are not available in my country.

As a consequence

this

, I have decided to study

this

program

to learn all the above-mentioned strategies in order to be implemented in my country. About my

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

resources, since I was working as a medical practitioner in Colombia, I saved money to pay for my English

program

and living arrangements.

Additionally

, my family has completely supported me, and my father has sponsored me. In order to support

this

, I attach my bank statements to prove I have received international monetary support from my father, who is called ‘Josue Balmes Agudelo Patiño’,

as well as

his bank certification as financial solvency support.

Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on Sun Aug 11 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay is directly addressing the topic. You need to clearly state your viewpoint on community services being a part of high school programs and provide arguments for or against it.

coherence cohesion

Your essay should have a clear introduction and conclusion that ties all your points together. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, with cohesive devices linking them smoothly.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This makes your arguments stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Your writing is clear and easy to understand, which is an important aspect of task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay with paragraphs and subpoints is good, which lays a solid foundation for argument development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Civic duty
Altruism
Empathy
Community engagement
Social cohesion
Philanthropy
Volunteerism
Work ethic
Social responsibility
Teamwork
Nonprofit sector
Service learning
Experiential education
Moral education
Integration
Equal opportunities
Skill development
Youth empowerment
Personal growth
Grassroots

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Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high School programs (for example working for a charity improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports youngsters).To what extent do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Topic: Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?