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Band 4.5

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high School programs (for example working for a charity improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports youngsters).To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighbourhood #sports #youngsters
I have been living in Brisbane, Australia for approximately one year. Since I came here,
the
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my
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 main purpose was
learning
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to learn
show examples
 English as a second language,
then
 I took an intensive
program
 course at ILSC
college
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College
show examples
 focused on
IELTS
Correct article usage
the IELTS
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 test in order to learn not only vocabulary but
also
 all
required
Correct article usage
the required
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 techniques to reach a high score. In July, I took my IELTS test, achieving an
Overall
 Score of 7.5, and my current English level at the school is A2 ++ with an attendance of more than 95%. I
attach
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have attached
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 the supporting evidence of my school attendance and the IELTS certificate Nowadays, once I have already reached my language target, I have considered taking
this
 ‘Graduate Diploma’ because of its well-balanced curriculum.
This
program
 offers an integrative educational
program
 with core and specialization subjects, having special training in digital and health informatics
as well as
 Health Policy and Advocacy’ which are not available in my country.
As a consequence
 of
this
, I have decided to study
this
program
 to learn all the above-mentioned strategies in order to be implemented in my country. About my
economical
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economic
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 resources, since I was working as a medical practitioner in Colombia, I saved money to pay for my English
program
 and living arrangements.
Additionally
, my family has completely supported me, and my father has sponsored me. In order to support
this
, I attach my bank statements to prove I have received international monetary support from my father, who is called ‘Josue Balmes Agudelo Patiño’,
as well as
 his bank certification as financial solvency support.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay is directly addressing the topic. You need to clearly state your viewpoint on community services being a part of high school programs and provide arguments for or against it.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clear introduction and conclusion that ties all your points together. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, with cohesive devices linking them smoothly.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This makes your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Your writing is clear and easy to understand, which is an important aspect of task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay with paragraphs and subpoints is good, which lays a solid foundation for argument development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Civic duty
  • Altruism
  • Empathy
  • Community engagement
  • Social cohesion
  • Philanthropy
  • Volunteerism
  • Work ethic
  • Social responsibility
  • Teamwork
  • Nonprofit sector
  • Service learning
  • Experiential education
  • Moral education
  • Integration
  • Equal opportunities
  • Skill development
  • Youth empowerment
  • Personal growth
  • Grassroots
What to do next:
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