Eating too much sugar is harmful for health.Some think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption,while other people believe it is individual’s responsibility .Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I have lived in a house for almost 9 months,
this
is located
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Red
Correct article usage
the Red
show examples
Hill Suburb, and the address is 13 Confederate Street. I signed my contract up to October 2024,
however
, I made an agreement with the landlord in order to extend
while
I am taking the ‘Graduate Diploma in Public Health’ at Torrens University, mainly because
this
house perfectly fits my requirements, the price which is 250 AUD per week, and its location. As proven, I have attached my contract.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your essay addresses both views on the topic of governmental versus individual responsibility for sugar consumption, providing structured arguments for each side.
coherence and cohesion
Include a clear introduction that outlines both perspectives and a conclusion that summarizes your opinion. This will help your essay's structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use cohesive devices and transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly and create a logical flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop each point with relevant examples and clear, comprehensive ideas. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Expand the scope of your essay to include statistics, studies, or real-life examples related to sugar consumption and health impacts.
task achievement
You have provided specific details, such as the rent and the educational institution, which add credibility.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health epidemic
  • Chronic diseases
  • Sugar taxation
  • Nutritional labeling
  • Self-discipline
  • Health consciousness
  • Preventative healthcare
  • Dietary guidelines
  • Consumer behavior
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Obesity rates
  • Health promotion
  • Government intervention
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!