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Band 7

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the uk for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who came to the uk for different purposes between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #uk #purposes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line chart compares the amount of
visitors
 who travelled to the UK for various purposes over a
period
 of 20 years.
Overall
, we can notice that the main purpose of travellers was a holiday,
whereas
 the sum of
visitors
 who came for regarding 2 targets increased over time, but saw a decline
at the end
. At the beginning of
this
period
, holidays were the main purpose of
visitors
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 numbered around 6.5
million
,
while
 the number of
visitors
 who came to the UK for business and meetings was respectively 5 and around 3.5
million
.
In addition
, from around 1993 to
2004
Add a comma
2004,
show examples
 the
visitors
' sum saw a fluctuation returning to 6.5
million
, but the amount of people who chose business and meetings increased moderately at the same time. From 2004 to the end of
this
period
 the sum of
visitors
 rose again to around 9
million
,
accordingly
 it reached its peak. Regarding 2 types of travelling, there was a steady increase in the number of
visitors
 from just
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 1
million
 for both business and meeting purposes from 2004 to 2009.
However
, they saw a slight decline
at the end
 of
this
period
 from 8 to 7
million
 and from 7 to 6
million
 respectively.
Submitted by talgattan4ez on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, period, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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