Some educationalist argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary-school curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance To what extent do you agree or disagree

2. What are my purposes once I finish my “Graduate Diploma in Public Health”? Undoubtedly, I want to apply for my medical speciality training program in Internal Medicine between October and November in order to start it in 2026. I plan to study it at the same University where I finished my Bachelor's Degree which is the Universidad Militar Nueva Granada in Bogotá, Colombia.
Additionally
, my mid-term goal is to apply all the knowledge acquired in
this
program mainly related to ‘Digital Health and Informatics’ and ‘Health Policy and Advocacy’ because any of these are neither found nor offered in my country. 3. What is my financial
support
to study? My family will completely
support
me and my father will sponsor me. In order to
support
this
, I have attached his bank statements to prove the financial solvency evidence with a certified letter where he demonstrates his commitment. The funds which will be used to
support
me are saved in the following counts: Number account No. 388298637 at Chase Bank (Holder's name: Josué Balmes Agudelo Patiño). Number account No. 4989194107 at Citibank a mi nombre (Holder's name: Josué Balmes Agudelo Patiño).
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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction is missing in this essay, making it difficult to immediately understand the main topic. Make sure to include an introductory paragraph that outlines what you will discuss and gives context to your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a conclusion, which is vital to summarizing and reinforcing your main ideas. Always conclude by recapping your points and making a final statement.
Task Response
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Ensure that you proofread your work or use grammar-checking tools to polish your essay. For example, 'the funds which will be used to support me are saved in the following accounts:' is grammatically incorrect; consider rephrasing it as 'the funds that will be used to support me are saved in the following accounts:.'
Task Response
Although the essay includes details about future plans and financial support, it does not thoroughly address how arts-based subjects could improve overall academic performance. Be sure to stay focused on the prompt and develop your argument with clear examples and reasoning.
Task Response
The essay contains specific details about the writer's plans and financial support, providing a solid foundation for the points made.
Coherence and Cohesion
The connection between the writer's mid-term goals and the specialized knowledge gained in the diploma program is clearly established.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory
  • Well-rounded education
  • Cognitive abilities
  • Innovative thinking
  • Aesthetic appreciation
  • Cultural literacy
  • Interdisciplinary learning
  • Skill diversification
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Synergistic effects
  • Holistic development
  • Curricular balance
  • Stress alleviation
  • Cognitive development
  • Extracurricular
  • Pedagogical approaches
  • Career readiness
  • Fiscal constraints
  • Creative industries
  • Standardized testing
What to do next:
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