IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph shows the global sales (in billions of dollars) of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart illustrates the international
sales
Use synonyms
 of various types of video
games
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2006. The units are measured in billions of dollars.
Overall
Linking Words
, Handheld
games
Use synonyms
 experienced the most escalation in
sales
Use synonyms
 year-on-year.
While
Linking Words
 the increasing tendency of all kinds of video
games
Use synonyms
 witnessed over the
years
Use synonyms
, Console
games
Use synonyms
 were the only ones that declined. In terms of Phone
Use synonyms
games
Change the noun form
game
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
, it was not even competing in the first
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 before it
finally
Linking Words
 appeared in 2002, selling approximately 1
billion
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, the marketing rose to exactly 6
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2005, after it had hovered around 4
billion
Use synonyms
.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period, Mobile
games
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 slightly increased to over 6
billion
Use synonyms
. Online
games
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 did not enter the market until 2001 with around one
billion
Use synonyms
, afterward, their turnovers gradually grew by 1
billion
Use synonyms
 each year between 2002 and 2005 before they exceeded mobile phone
sales
Use synonyms
 in 2006 with approximately nine
billion
Use synonyms
. Turning to console game
sales
Use synonyms
, they started the period at 6
billion
Use synonyms
, dipping slowly to under their initial commercial outcomes in 2002. They remained the same throughout the next
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 at around four
billion
Use synonyms
 before falling by about 1
billion
Use synonyms
 in the latter
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
. Handheld
Use synonyms
games
Change noun form
game's
games'
show examples
 commercial outcomes dominated the market from the beginning at almost 12
billion
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 escalated in 2001, 2002, and 2003 with approximately 12.5
billion
Use synonyms
, 13
billion
Use synonyms
, and 14
billion
Use synonyms
 respectively. In 2006,
this
Linking Words
 type's
sales
Use synonyms
 reached their peak at Eghiteen
billion
Use synonyms
, after staying constant in the interval of
two
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, years, two, billion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: