IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. ● describe the problem with the equipment ● explain how this problem is affecting your work ● say what you want the shop or company do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inform you about a problem I am experiencing with a
lawn
mower
 that I purchased from your company on 12th March. The problem is the
lawn
mower
 is not turning on. When I purchased
this
 machine from your company, your managers told me that there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
problem with
this
 machine.
However
, I am unable to use the
lawn
mower
, which is significantly impacting my ability to complete my
houses
Fix the agreement mistake
house
show examples
 work.
In addition
 to
this
, I cannot mow the grass without
this
 machine. Because of
this
, I have to finish mowing my garden's grass because my relatives are coming to my house for a party, and we want to spend the holiday in the garden. I would be grateful if you could give me a full refund or exchange my
lawn
mower
 for another. I would prefer an exchange rather than a refund, as I need to finish mowing my garden's grass. I look forward to your reply. Yours faithfully, Raxmon Kamolov
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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language
Revise the sentence 'However, I am unable to use the lawn mower, which is significantly impacting my ability to complete my houses work.' It would be clearer as 'However, I am unable to use the lawn mower, which is significantly impacting my ability to complete my household work.'
language
Clarify the last point regarding the relatives and the holiday. It could be more streamlined for better understanding. For example: 'Because my relatives are coming over for a party, we prefer to spend the holiday in a well-maintained garden.'
content
The letter clearly describes the problem with the equipment, its impact on your work, and a solution. All three points in the task are addressed.
structure
The structure is well-organized with an appropriate introduction and conclusion.
content
The writing is clear and coherent with logical flow from one point to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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