IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#aim #science #people #lives
In today's world, we are
approching
Correct your spelling
approaching
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an advancement of scientific
kowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to
improvise
Verb problem
improve
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. It's a harsh truth that the aim of
science
 is to offer
a better lives
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better life
better lives
show examples
 to all human beings.
This
 is a heated argument
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 among
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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, some are
favour
Change preposition
in favour
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with
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of
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statement
Correct article usage
the statement
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whereas
 some reject
this
 notion.
However
, I agreed with the
aformentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
 statement.
This
 essay will
further
emphasie
Correct your spelling
emphasise
emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my perspective with suitable examples and
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 to
possible
Add an article
a possible
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 conclusion.
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the
one
 hand,
this
 statement can be proved
with
Change preposition
in
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 multifarious
ways
, the most
prepoderent
Correct your spelling
preponderant
one
 is development what we can see around
noways
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
,
such
 as high-tech buildings with multiple features.
Therefore
, it helps the
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
 to use it in
easier
Add an article
an easier
show examples
 way,
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
 any struggles. In older days
people
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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used stairs
for going
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to go
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 to
upper
Correct article usage
the upper
show examples
 floors of
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
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, howevere nowdays
due to
advent
Correct article usage
the advent
show examples
 of
scientifc
Correct your spelling
scientific
 advancement and inventions they are using lifts.
For instance
, in
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 we
are having
Wrong verb form
have
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self driving
Add a hyphen
self-driving
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 mode,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
resolve
Change the verb form
resolves
show examples
 the headache of
people
to look
Change the verb form
looking
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every direction
while
 driving.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the
first
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand, another superficial reason which cannot be neglected is
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of
unknow
Correct your spelling
unknown
show examples
 things. Recently a place
invented
Add a missing verb
was invented
show examples
 by
space
Correct article usage
a space
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 rocket
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
launched
Verb problem
invented
show examples
 by
one
 of our own
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 Dr
somnath
Change the capitalization
Somnath
show examples
 from ISRO.
This
 led to
find
Change the verb form
finding
show examples
possble
Correct your spelling
possible
ways
 to live in other
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
, in other way
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
also
 helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to live life smoothly
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other planets. So,
this
 would not be possible without
science
.
For instance
, a rover which was launched a year back
given
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 idea of
mars
Capitalize word
Mars
show examples
 planet. In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nutshell, it is
advent
Add an article
an advent
show examples
 to use
science
 to
improvise
Verb problem
improve
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lives either
ways
Change to a singular noun
way
show examples
.
This
 can be done with support from both
ways
, from
Correct article usage
the governement
show examples
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 and
Correct article usage
the publc
show examples
publc
Correct your spelling
public
 That's why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
 seems to be required for future development.
Submitted by rachitgupta472000 on

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task achievement
While the main points are addressed, the response lacks full clarity and depth. Ensure that your ideas are fully elaborated and explained comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Clearer topic sentences could help guide the reader through your argument more effectively. Each paragraph should start with an idea that directly supports your thesis.
coherence cohesion
Work on your conclusion to make it a stronger summary of your main points. Reinforce how each point supports your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure to improve the clarity and fluency of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Using connectors and transition phrases more effectively will improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
You've provided relevant examples that help illustrate your points, which is crucial for a strong argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, making your stance unambiguous.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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