Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Do the Advantages outweigh disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an opinion about the best way for high
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

graduates.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it, young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must travel or
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

before beginning the next education step. The advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

choice should be compared.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is important to
notice
Verb problem
note

There may be a verb use issue here.

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that the governments of some countries do not allow
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

category of population to get any
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without military service.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in
Russia
Add a comma
Russia,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in Russia. Consider adding a comma.

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graduates have to go to university or to
army
Correct article usage
the army

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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anyway (except
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

people
Change preposition
for people

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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certain diseases).
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is hard to keep in mind all
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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during the brake you might take after
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. If
person
Add an article
a person
the person

The noun phrase person seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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will want
Wrong verb form
wants

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb will want. Consider changing it.

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to start
education
Correct pronoun usage
their education
his education
her education

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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at the university after
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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long travel or
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, he probably will not pass the exams successfully.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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entering to university immediately after graduation from
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

seems easier. Statistically, less than a third of
russian
Change the capitalization
Russian

If you don’t want russian to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

do not enter any higher educational institution after
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
From
Change preposition
On

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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another side, it is quite necessary to get a new life experience before making an important decision about
future
Correct article usage
the future

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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. Travelling or
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can give a great opportunity for it. I believe that exploring new countries helps to form your own
broad-mind
Correct your spelling
broad mind

The word broad-mind doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and has a positive influence on young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

’s mental health.
At
Change preposition
In

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the same
way
Add a comma
way,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase At the same way. Consider adding a comma.

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any official
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can show the system of adult life and improve your soft and hard skills. Frequently, even
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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small
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

experience makes young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

more attractive
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the next employers.
Summarize
Fix the infinitive
To summarize

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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, there are a lot of positive aspects of travelling or
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after high
school
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

graduation. It is hard to overestimate
they
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
.

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task achievement
Your essay generally covers the topic and presents both advantages and disadvantages of traveling or working before university. However, try to ensure that you support each point with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'Conversely' can help guide readers through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly introduces the topic and sets the stage for discussing both advantages and disadvantages. This helps to immediately engage the reader and establishes the context.
task achievement
You have made a good effort to present balanced viewpoints, discussing both the potential benefits and drawbacks of taking a gap year after high school.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • practical experience
  • maturity
  • academic momentum
  • cultural exposure
  • diverse cultures
  • workforce
  • competitive edge
  • real-world skills
  • continuity
  • entry-level jobs
  • financial concerns
  • broadened perspectives
  • personal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: