Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Do the Advantages outweigh disadvantages?
There is an opinion about the best way for high
school
graduates. According to
it, young people
must travel or work
before beginning the next education step. The advantages and disadvantages of this
choice should be compared.
Firstly
, it is important to notice
that the governments of some countries do not allow Verb problem
note
this
category of population to get any work
without military service. For example
, in Russia
graduates have to go to university or to Add a comma
Russia,
army
anyway (except Correct article usage
the army
people
who Change preposition
for people
has
certain diseases). Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Secondly
, it is hard to keep in mind all knowledge
during the brake you might take after Correct article usage
the knowledge
school
. If person
Add an article
a person
the person
will want
to start Wrong verb form
wants
education
at the university after Correct pronoun usage
their education
his education
her education
the
long travel or Correct article usage
a
work
, he probably will not pass the exams successfully. Therefore
, the
entering to university immediately after graduation from Correct article usage
apply
school
seems easier. Statistically, less than a third of russian
Change the capitalization
Russian
people
do not enter any higher educational institution after school
.
From
another side, it is quite necessary to get a new life experience before making an important decision about Change preposition
On
future
. Travelling or Correct article usage
the future
work
can give a great opportunity for it. I believe that exploring new countries helps to form your own broad-mind
and has a positive influence on young Correct your spelling
broad mind
people
’s mental health. At
the same Change preposition
In
way
any official Add a comma
way,
work
can show the system of adult life and improve your soft and hard skills. Frequently, even the
small Correct article usage
a
work
experience makes young people
more attractive for
the next employers.
Change preposition
to
Summarize
, there are a lot of positive aspects of travelling or Fix the infinitive
To summarize
work
after high school
graduation. It is hard to overestimate they
.Correct pronoun usage
them
Submitted by dulskywork on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay generally covers the topic and presents both advantages and disadvantages of traveling or working before university. However, try to ensure that you support each point with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'Conversely' can help guide readers through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly introduces the topic and sets the stage for discussing both advantages and disadvantages. This helps to immediately engage the reader and establishes the context.
task achievement
You have made a good effort to present balanced viewpoints, discussing both the potential benefits and drawbacks of taking a gap year after high school.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.