The illustrations show how chocolate is produced.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#illustrations #show #chocolate #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The illustrations show how

chocolate

is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. The process pictures illustrate the production of

chocolate

started

Wrong verb form

starting

show examples

with harvesting red pods from cacao bean trees and ending with

chocolate

packaging. Manufacture contains 10 long-lasting steps to reach the shop shelves and being bought by people. When the harvest is ready to use, they are being cut, and white cocoa beans, which were in pods,

goes

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

into a fermenter machine

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

then

needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

show examples

to be dried . After those actions , cocoa seeds are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

put in large sacks and transported by train or lorry to special factories, which create the

chocolate

. The next half of sweets manufacturing

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is beans preparation. They are being roasted in ovens with

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

temperature range , approximately 350 degrees. Roasted beans need to be crushed and peeled out of outer shell.

Thereafter

product

Add an article

the product

show examples

enters the final stage , in the production machine, which presses seeds in the inner part of a tool .

As a result

, we can get

a liquid

Remove the article

liquid chocolate

a bar of liquid chocolate

show examples

chocolate

. Even though, there are

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

steps

further

, to

liquid

Add an article

the liquid

show examples

being formed and transferred to shops around the region or city.

Submitted by moon2014angel on Tue Aug 13 2024

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task achievement

Your essay covers all the main steps in the chocolate production process, and you have provided a logical sequence for them. However, you need to work on clarifying and elaborating on some points to make your ideas more comprehensive. Make sure to fully explain each step and its purpose.

coherence cohesion

Ensure to proofread your work for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance readability. For example, 'goes into a fermenter machine, and then needs to be dried' could be improved to 'are placed into a fermentation machine and then dried.'

coherence cohesion

While you provided a logical structure for the essay, you can improve your conclusion. Providing a concise summary that wraps up the entire process without adding new information is recommended.

task achievement

You successfully outlined the complete process of chocolate production from start to finish, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task.

coherence cohesion

The logical sequence of the steps in the chocolate production process is well-maintained, which aids reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

201 words

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The illustrations show how chocolate is produced.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth.

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or waste of time?

Computer and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligance enhance the learing experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be this case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed ?