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Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualifications
An argument has arisen on whether studying additional courses which students prefer is more crucial than studying for qualifications. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the
mertis
Correct your spelling
merits
 and
demertis
Correct your spelling
demerits
 of
this
 situation and conclude with my own perspective. On
one
 hand, studying what you enjoy could increase the level of
dadication
Correct your spelling
dedication
 and passion you have,
as well as
 helping you to upskill and learn new things.
Moreover
, some scientists agreed on the fact that the highest rate of satisfaction was induced among students
whom
Change the pronoun
who
show examples
 stay
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 campus to take additional classes on subjects they enjoy.
For example
,
one
 of my relatives is a big fan of mathematics, so she decided to join a club to improve her mathematical skills and
this
 highly contributed to her success in her career later on.
On the other hand
, studying only for
qualificaton
Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
 and
dadicate
Correct your spelling
dedicate
one
's time and efforts to it, has its own beneficial
privilage
Correct your spelling
privilege
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it
garentee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
guarantees
 passing. There are a lot of students
whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 prefer to be
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the safe side and don't want to sacrifice their free time to study other subjects. They find it
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 additional burden as their only need is to focus
one
Correct your spelling
on
show examples
 the main courses that are required to pass the level they are on. In conclusion, because studying additional subjects has
its
Change the word
a
show examples
 heavy important weight that plays a crucial
rule
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
 in my skill development, and because it helps me to improve my mindset and gain more knowledge about different fields, I agree with the fact that we should study extra courses.
Submitted by 9500kawther1700 on

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task achievement
Try to further develop and illustrate your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to your spelling and word choice to avoid minor errors. These can detract from your overall clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Aim to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of linguistic proficiency. This will also make your essay more engaging to read.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets out the topic and presents both sides of the argument, which gives a clear direction for your essay.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively restates your viewpoint and nicely ties up your main arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point, which helps the reader follow your argumentation easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Holistic development
  • - Broadening perspectives
  • - Critical thinking skills
  • - Versatile and adaptable
  • - Job market
  • - Interdisciplinary thinking
  • - Problem-solving skills
  • - Academic performance
  • - Stress management
  • - Time management
  • - In-depth knowledge
  • - Expertise
  • - Resource allocation
  • - Core subjects
  • - Chosen domains
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