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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts shoe how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts shoe how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The
given
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table chart below compares the police
budget
Use synonyms
 from different sources between 2017 and 2018,
whereas
Linking Words
 the pie charts highlight how it was distributed over a period of 1 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can notice that the most outstanding source of the
budget
Use synonyms
 is the national government
in contrast
Linking Words
 to others who invested much less.
Moreover
Linking Words
, from the pie charts, we can see that lots of budgets were spent on salaries which consist of officers and staff.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 2017, the
most
Correct quantifier usage
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primary source of the
budget
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 was the national government which invested approximately 175.5
million
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euros
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 and one year after it saw a modest increase
by
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of
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 about 2.3
million
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euros
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 local taxes provided twice less with 91.2
million
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euros
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, but it increased steadily to 102.3
million
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euros
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the smallest amount of money was received from other sources which consisted of only 38
million
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euros
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, which rose slightly to 500 hundred
euros
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 in 2018. From the pie charts, we can see that
the
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most part of the money from the
budget
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 was spent on salaries in both years respectively with 75% and 69% of the whole
budget
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. Only 8% of the
budget
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 went to technology in 2017, but in 2018
this
Linking Words
 percentage increased dramatically by 6%.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the percentage of spent money on buildings and transport stayed the same in both years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, million, euros with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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