The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts shoe how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The

given

Verb problem

apply

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table chart below compares the police

budget

Use synonyms

from different sources between 2017 and 2018,

whereas

Linking Words

the pie charts highlight how it was distributed over a period of 1 year.

Overall

Linking Words

, we can notice that the most outstanding source of the

budget

Use synonyms

is the national government

in contrast

Linking Words

to others who invested much less.

Moreover

Linking Words

, from the pie charts, we can see that lots of budgets were spent on salaries which consist of officers and staff.

To begin

Linking Words

with, in 2017, the

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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primary source of the

budget

Use synonyms

was the national government which invested approximately 175.5

million

Use synonyms

euros

Use synonyms

and one year after it saw a modest increase

Change preposition

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about 2.3

million

Use synonyms

euros

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

local taxes provided twice less with 91.2

million

Use synonyms

euros

Use synonyms

, but it increased steadily to 102.3

million

Use synonyms

euros

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, the smallest amount of money was received from other sources which consisted of only 38

million

Use synonyms

euros

Use synonyms

, which rose slightly to 500 hundred

euros

Use synonyms

in 2018. From the pie charts, we can see that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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most part of the money from the

budget

Use synonyms

was spent on salaries in both years respectively with 75% and 69% of the whole

budget

Use synonyms

. Only 8% of the

budget

Use synonyms

went to technology in 2017, but in 2018

this

Linking Words

percentage increased dramatically by 6%.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the percentage of spent money on buildings and transport stayed the same in both years.

Submitted by talgattan4ez on Tue Aug 13 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words budget, million, euros with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

227 words

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