IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people believe that students work better if the teacher is strict; others think it is better for students, if the teacher has a friendly approach. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #students #work #teacher #approach
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In my opinion,
this
 kind of
discuss
Replace the word
discussion
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about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the types of
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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depend
of
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on
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 different factors
on
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apply
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specially
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especially
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about
Change preposition
apply
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the kinds of personalities of the students.
Firstly
, the different opinions have been divided about the types of subject that
theacher
Correct your spelling
teacher
learns
Verb problem
teaches
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 us and the other hand is about the personalities of people that received the knowledge.
whereves
Correct your spelling
wherever
whereas
 some people around the age of 30
years
 old to 45
years
 old, they prefer the strict line, in comparison young people between 16
years
 to 28
years
 prefer
different
Add an article
a different
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 way to learn by a
friendky
Correct your spelling
friendly
 approach there.
secondly
, subjects with a main idea is numbers like maths and physics, are more difficult
explain
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to explain
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 with a culture friendly, it is important to have a strict line to translate the knowledge between students and teachers.
While
subject
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subjects
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 like music, art, and psychology
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 so different
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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try to learn
this
 kind of
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
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 in a strict
teacher
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teaching
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 way.
finally
Add a comma
finally,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 can
concluded
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conclude
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 that
all
Correct pronoun usage
it all
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 depends
of
Change preposition
on
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 what , it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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depends
of
Change preposition
on
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 the comparison that you want to explain, and the most important thing is the personalities of the students.
Submitted by gerencia on

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introduction
Begin with a clear introduction that sets up the discussion topic. Introduce both views and state your opinion clearly. This will help frame the essay properly.
logical structure
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the overall structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
supported main points
Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your points. This will make your ideas more convincing and enrich your argument.
grammar
Proofread your essay to avoid grammatical errors and to ensure clarity. Small grammar mistakes can detract from the overall quality of the essay.
conclusion
End with a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and reaffirms your opinion. This will give your essay a sense of completeness.
task response
The essay addresses both views, which is essential for this type of task.
task response
You have shared your opinion, which is important for the 'discuss both views and give your opinion' type of task.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt to organize the essay into different paragraphs, which shows a basic understanding of essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • discipline
  • disruptive behavior
  • academic expectations
  • sense of urgency
  • perform to the best of their abilities
  • real-world environments
  • rules and deadlines
  • approachable
  • nurturing learning environment
  • participate actively
  • ask questions without fear
  • reprimand
  • interactive and engaging
  • effective learning
  • stressful learning environment
  • lack of respect and discipline
What to do next:
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