Some people believe that entertainment such as film star pop musicians or sports star are paid to much money Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of jobs should be highly paid.?

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For many, popular musicians, actors or sportsmen are overpaid. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

view on the grounds that these people give up on many

freedom

Fix the agreement mistake

freedoms

show examples

in order to be famous. I would argue that experts working in education and veterinary medicine must earn more. Invented in the

40's

Fix apostrophe usage

'40s

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, television changed our lives once and for all. With

this

Linking Words

breakpoint, the concept of

star

Correct article usage

a star

show examples

entered into every household. Now, every well-known person can be considered

Correct your spelling

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star, whether they are

Correct article usage

a sportsmen

show examples

sportsmen

Fix the agreement mistake

sportsman

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, singer or actress. Correlated to their skills or sensational

affects

Replace the word

effects

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this

Linking Words

is a fact that these individuals have enormous paychecks.

However

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

popularity is not

Correct word choice

show examples

easy as it seems. To be a star, a person needs not only

qualified

Correct article usage

a qualified

show examples

skillset

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

Linking Words

to give up many of their freedoms. They cannot walk on the street as they want,

for instance

Linking Words

. Apart from the stars, there are professions that are paid unfairly

such

Linking Words

as teachers and veterinarians.

While

Linking Words

teachers educate young brains to shape humankind's future, veterinarians are the shield between

zoonoz

Correct your spelling

zoonoses

diseases and citizens. Both

groups

Change noun form

group's

groups'

show examples

work are sacred which is improving and protecting humanity. Yet, they earn poor

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

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of money in every domain of the world. In Turkey

Linking Words

for

Add the comma(s)

, for

show examples

example, there are many tutors and veterinary

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

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awaiting to be employed by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

due to

Linking Words

cruel private sector conditions. In conclusion, to be a spotlight person, people pay the price which is not

live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

normal

Add an article

a normal

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individual.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I do not

suport

Correct your spelling

support

the idea that they are overpaid.

Besides

Linking Words

, as they work for the whole community

educaters

Correct your spelling

educators

and veterinarians need to get more money.

TUTOOWed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

Your essay mostly answers the task prompt, but you need to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing how celebrities give up their freedoms, citing specific instances or cases would strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

While your essay follows a logical structure, some of your points could be more clearly connected. Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. For example, when moving from the discussion of celebrities to other professions, a linking sentence would guide the reader more smoothly.

general advice

There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly detract from the overall readability. For example, 'these people give up on many freedom' should be 'these people give up many freedoms.' Revising these would make your essay clearer.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which succinctly present your viewpoint and summarize your points. This provides a solid structure for your essay.

task achievement

Your ideas are relevant and align well with the essay prompt, showcasing your ability to address the topic comprehensively.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

267 words

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Some people believe that entertainment such as film star pop musicians or sports star are paid to much money Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of jobs should be highly paid.?

Countries should restrict foreign companies from opening offices and factories in order to protect local business. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Q. Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss on both sides and give your opinion.

Please answer very good answer to this It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdor activities like hiking and climbing in nstural environment. Whu is this case? How theycsn be encouraged to go out?

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Why is this happening and what can be done to reduce it?