Nowadays, people travel to other countries for a holidays. Why people do so? is this a positive or a negative development for the countries they travel to?

These days,more and more
people
are
having
Verb problem
taking
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
other nations.
In other words
,going to
travel
in
holidays
has risen dramatically in other
countries
.In
this
essay,I will address some reasons for going
travel
on
holidays
Fix the agreement mistake
holiday
show examples
and
also
I will explain some positive and negative aspects of
this
decision. Let's begin by looking at some reasons
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
people
prefer to
travel
on their
holidays
.
Firstly
,
people
may tend to explore new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
and
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
in other regions by travelling.
That is
to say,not only do
people
comprehend other cultural differences,but
also
they can visit foreign
countries
and feel
people
's
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
in a diverse country when they are travelling.
Secondly
,
people
might experience new things and learn how to deal with the problems in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
when they take a
trip
.Clearly,if
people
try to tackle the problems of a
trip
,they will learn to overcome some difficulties in their life extremely more comfortably than before. It is interesting to note that there are various positive and negative aspects for the
countries
which
people
are into
travel
to them.One of the most significant benefits is that
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
circumstances will be improved
,
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apply
show examples
if the majority of
people
visit their nations.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
numerous
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of money are brought to the
countries
which have a lot of
tourists
.
However
,little
has
Verb problem
are
show examples
travelling disadvantages for different nations.Clearly,one of the most momentous drawbacks is that popular destinations can become overcrowded
due to
the large number of
tourists
.
Also
,in spite of being fabulous financial situations,the overpopulation of
tourists
might be annoying for the majority of
people
.
To conclude
,there is no doubt that some
people
often take a
trip
on their
holidays
.
Moreover
,travelling has both positive and negative points for destination
countries
such
as economic development and overtourism.
As a result
,I personally think that the considerable number of passengers and
tourists
has more benefits than drawbacks for the
countries
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Try to expand on the reasons why people prefer to travel on holidays and provide more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Utilizing transitional phrases more effectively can enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Address the negative aspects of increased tourism in more detail. Providing more examples or specific cases will help give a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the main points well and giving a sense of completeness to the argument.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt at discussing both positive and negative aspects, providing a balanced view of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs that discuss distinct points. This aids in understanding the flow of your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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