Nowadays, people travel to other countries for a holidays. Why people do so? is this a positive or a negative development for the countries they travel to?

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These days,more and more
people
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are
having
Verb problem
taking

There may be a verb use issue here.

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a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Use synonyms
Use synonyms
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips

It seems that trip may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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other nations.
In other words
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,going to
travel
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in
holidays
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has risen dramatically in other
countries
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.In
this
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essay,I will address some reasons for going
travel
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on
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Use synonyms
holidays
Fix the agreement mistake
holiday

It seems that holidays may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
also
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I will explain some positive and negative aspects of
this
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decision. Let's begin by looking at some reasons
for
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apply

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why
people
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prefer to
travel
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on their
holidays
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Firstly
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,
people
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may tend to explore new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures

It seems that culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions

It seems that tradition may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in other regions by travelling.
That is
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to say,not only do
people
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comprehend other cultural differences,but
also
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they can visit foreign
countries
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and feel
people
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's
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes

It seems that attitude may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in a diverse country when they are travelling.
Secondly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
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might experience new things and learn how to deal with the problems in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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when they take a
trip
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.Clearly,if
people
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try to tackle the problems of a
trip
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,they will learn to overcome some difficulties in their life extremely more comfortably than before. It is interesting to note that there are various positive and negative aspects for the
countries
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which
people
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are into
travel
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to them.One of the most significant benefits is that
economical
Replace the word
economic

The word economical doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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circumstances will be improved
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if the majority of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

visit their nations.
This
Linking Words

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is because
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction because. Consider removing the comma.

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numerous
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts

It seems that amount may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of money are brought to the
countries
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which have a lot of
tourists
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.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,little
has
Verb problem
are

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
travelling disadvantages for different nations.Clearly,one of the most momentous drawbacks is that popular destinations can become overcrowded
due to
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the large number of
tourists
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,in spite of being fabulous financial situations,the overpopulation of
tourists
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might be annoying for the majority of
people
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.
To conclude
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,there is no doubt that some
people
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often take a
trip
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on their
holidays
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,travelling has both positive and negative points for destination
countries
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such
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as economic development and overtourism.
As a result
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,I personally think that the considerable number of passengers and
tourists
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has more benefits than drawbacks for the
countries
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.

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task achievement
Try to expand on the reasons why people prefer to travel on holidays and provide more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Utilizing transitional phrases more effectively can enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Address the negative aspects of increased tourism in more detail. Providing more examples or specific cases will help give a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the main points well and giving a sense of completeness to the argument.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt at discussing both positive and negative aspects, providing a balanced view of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs that discuss distinct points. This aids in understanding the flow of your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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