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Writing Samples
Band 5

Female unemployment rates in the four countries of the UK.

#unemployment #rates #four #countries #uk
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The given graph compares England,Wales,Scotland and Northern Ireland in terms of how many females were unemployed from 2013 to 2014. In general, it can be seen that the proportion of unemployment among
women
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 in four nations of the UK had seen a small decline during the period. In 2013,5,6% of
women
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 in Northern Ireland were unemployed. The only country with a smaller
percentage
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 of
women
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 was Wales,with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 rate of 5,4%. Both countries saw a decrease in the proportion of unemployed
women
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 in 2014. In Northern Ireland, the
percentage
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 fell to 4,6% and in Wales it fell to 5%. England had the greatest
percentage
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 of unemployed
women
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 in 2013,with 6,8%.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 decreased by 0,3% in 2014.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Scotland was the only country which had an increasing
percentage
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 of unemployed
women
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. In 2013,it had 6,1% of
women
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 out of work.
This
Linking Words
 increased to 6,7% in 2014,making it the country with the highest female unemployment rate of the four countries.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
To further strengthen your essay, consider adding a conclusion paragraph summarizing the key points discussed. This will enhance the completeness of your response.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify the smaller details, such as using consistent decimal formatting (e.g., 5.6% instead of 5,6%) and ensuring spaces after commas.
coherence cohesion
To improve the clarity, you can use more varied sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses all aspects of the task, discussing the female unemployment rates in all four countries over the specified period.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant data from the graph, which helps to substantiate the analysis.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and provides a good overview of what the essay will cover, while each paragraph presents logical and cohesive information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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