Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and wether they are married or single some people say that this information may be relavant and useful.Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your openion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The question

whether

Change preposition

of whether

show examples

companies should be asking applicants about their personal life is a very arguable one.

This

Linking Words

essay will review both positive and negative aspects,

as well as

Linking Words

provide arguments on why I personally believe that private information should not be discussed or required during an interview. Asking about a

person

Use synonyms

's interests and hobbies is not necessarily a bad thing. I agree that it can give us an image of what the

person

Use synonyms

likes to do and help us form a better connection. With

this

Linking Words

information

Add a comma

information,

show examples

we are able to create a better image of what the

person

Use synonyms

is like and potentially make new friendships.

However

Linking Words

, when looking for a job, these interests might not be as relevant as other important factors. To illustrate, we should not be judged on whether we like to read books or watch TV in our free time as it generally does not interfere with our work performance.

In contrast

Linking Words

, interviewers should focus on asking work-related questions and about previous work experience

Linking Words

therefore

Add the comma(s)

, therefore

show examples

, evaluating us on the knowledge that can be useful to their company.

Additionally

Linking Words

, I completely disagree with employers wanting to know about a

person

Use synonyms

's relationship status as

this

Linking Words

is a very private part of our lives. Being married or single does not have any effect on how well we do our work and

therefore

Linking Words

, should not be discussed during the initial meeting.

For example

Linking Words

, in many cases, married women tend to get discriminated

for

Change preposition

against for

show examples

wanting to have kids and start a family, resulting in them having a significantly lower salary when compared to men.

Consequently

Linking Words

, asking about our private

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and partners should be prohibited, as it can lead to injustice and unfair advantages.

To sum

Linking Words

Add a comma

up,

show examples

all the arguments that have been stated in

this

Linking Words

essay,

while

Linking Words

wanting to know someone's interests and hobbies may be

benefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

in getting to know them better, asking

private

Change preposition

for private

show examples

information regarding relationship status should not be

neccesary

Correct your spelling

necessary

SofWed Aug 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To further enhance your task response, consider expanding on why you believe personal information should not be discussed during an interview. You could also add more examples to illustrate your points about why work-related questions are more relevant.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You might benefit from using more transitional phrases to connect ideas effectively. Also, consider splitting your second paragraph into two separate paragraphs to give more focus to each point.

introduction conclusion present

You have provided a clear introduction that outlines the essay's purpose and structure. This sets a solid foundation for your argument.

logical structure

The essay stays on topic throughout and addresses both perspectives on the issue, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the prompt.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
The advantages brought by the spread of English as a “global language” will outweigh disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
There is a widely held belief that while the widespread employ of English as an international language is advantageous, there are also some downsides; however, I am inclined to assert that its benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
6.5
band
In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
people inthe community is extremely vital in some places, while others think that the elderly are better. This writer totally agrees with the latter statement due to old people’s knowledge as well as contribution to employment.
8
band
Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Due to the adverse effect of smoking on the community health, it is widely argued that smoking should be stopped in the public gathering areas. I totally agree with this idea because of the massive effect it has on human beings. In this essay, I will explain my thoughts followed by examples.
7.5
band
“Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In the contemporary world, the controversy surrounding the importance of focusing on public health has become a prominent topic. As can be seen, the proportion of people who have health problems is increasing. Therefore, more and more money is being spent to cure them. Personally, I adhere to the opinion that the majority of the country's budget should be spent on well-being education and preventative measures instead of treatment.
6.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
A group of people present the view that music is an effective way of communication which is able to connect diverse walks of life worldwide. In my opinion, there are some reasons for rejecting this notion in that sometimes music fails to create an atmosphere of togetherness.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and wether they are married or single some people say that this information may be relavant and useful.Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your openion.

The advantages brought by the spread of English as a “global language” will outweigh disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

“Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?