Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and wether they are married or single some people say that this information may be relavant and useful.Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your openion.

The question
whether
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of whether
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companies should be asking applicants about their personal life is a very arguable one.
This
essay will review both positive and negative aspects,
as well as
provide arguments on why I personally believe that private information should not be discussed or required during an interview. Asking about a
person
's interests and hobbies is not necessarily a bad thing. I agree that it can give us an image of what the
person
likes to do and help us form a better connection. With
this
information
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information,
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we are able to create a better image of what the
person
is like and potentially make new friendships.
However
, when looking for a job, these interests might not be as relevant as other important factors. To illustrate, we should not be judged on whether we like to read books or watch TV in our free time as it generally does not interfere with our work performance.
In contrast
, interviewers should focus on asking work-related questions and about previous work experience
therefore
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, therefore
show examples
, evaluating us on the knowledge that can be useful to their company.
Additionally
, I completely disagree with employers wanting to know about a
person
's relationship status as
this
is a very private part of our lives. Being married or single does not have any effect on how well we do our work and
therefore
, should not be discussed during the initial meeting.
For example
, in many cases, married women tend to get discriminated
for
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against for
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wanting to have kids and start a family, resulting in them having a significantly lower salary when compared to men.
Consequently
, asking about our private
life
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lives
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and partners should be prohibited, as it can lead to injustice and unfair advantages.
To sum
up
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up,
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all the arguments that have been stated in
this
essay,
while
wanting to know someone's interests and hobbies may be
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
in getting to know them better, asking
private
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for private
show examples
information regarding relationship status should not be
neccesary
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necessary
.
Submitted by Sof on

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task achievement
To further enhance your task response, consider expanding on why you believe personal information should not be discussed during an interview. You could also add more examples to illustrate your points about why work-related questions are more relevant.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You might benefit from using more transitional phrases to connect ideas effectively. Also, consider splitting your second paragraph into two separate paragraphs to give more focus to each point.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a clear introduction that outlines the essay's purpose and structure. This sets a solid foundation for your argument.
logical structure
The essay stays on topic throughout and addresses both perspectives on the issue, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the prompt.

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