During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter: •remind him when and where you met • tell him what kind of job you are interested in • say why you think you would be suitable for the job
Dear Mr Smith,
I am writing to you to express my interest in your
job
when I heard it
from you Correct pronoun usage
apply
for
Change preposition
about
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
waitress position.
I hope you can remember me, we met at
the plane Change preposition
on
20th
June, on Sunday, Change preposition
on 20th
last
week. We had great conversation and we ordered some meals together. So in short during the lunch
you told me a lot about your restaurant. Add a comma
lunch,
Although
, you said that you want to hire
experienced waitress for your part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
job
.
I am International
student Add an article
an International
first year
student at the college. Living in the Add a hyphen
first-year
U.S.A
is expensive and I need some extra money to cover my living expenses. I can not Correct your spelling
U.S.A.
work
full-
Add an article
a full-time
time
job
as I have classes in the morning so I decided to apply for this
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
job
.
Before starting college I came to the U.S
for summer jobs. At that Correct your spelling
U.S.
time
I worked in one of the restaurants as a waitress. Moreover
, my work
experience was
taught me skills Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as communicating with clients, serving orders on the
Correct article usage
apply
time
and working under pressure. Currently, lessons start at 9 a.m and finish 4
p.m so I would be available to Change preposition
at 4
work
after 5 p.m untill
midnight from Correct your spelling
until
Munday
to Saturday. Unfortunately, I can not Correct your spelling
Monday
work
on the
Sundays because I have exams and I have to prepare for exams on Sundays.
Thank you for your Correct article usage
apply
time
and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
FeruzabonuSubmitted by omondavlat91 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The letter's logical structure could be improved by organizing ideas more effectively. For instance, an introduction that clearly states the purpose, followed by details of the meeting, your qualifications, and then your availability. Consider using paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
While your response addresses all parts of the task, ensuring that each point is covered in a more structured manner will enhance clarity. Ensure to remind the businessman of key details of your meeting using specific time markers: 'on the plane on 20th June'.
task achievement
Some grammatical errors and lack of precision in expression slightly affect readability. For example, instead of 'before starting college I came to the U.S for summer jobs,' it could be 'before starting college, I came to the U.S. last summer for a job.'
task achievement
You have successfully included all relevant points requested in the task.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is appropriately formal and polite, which is suitable for this context.
coherence cohesion
You have appropriately used a greeting and a closing which enhances the structure of the letter.
Structure your letter
A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:
- A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
- The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
- A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)
When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.
All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.