You have seen an advertisement in an Australia magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter -explain why you would like the job Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australia #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #-explain #job #person #time

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to apply for

Correct article usage

the

show examples

position of

live in

Add a hyphen

live-in

show examples

nanny you posted in Jobs-Jobs magazine. My name is Waris Saroye. I

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

living in Australia

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

2 years.

Moreover

Linking Words

, I love kids. I like to play with them

Linking Words

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

teach new activities. I enjoy utilising time with

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

. Why I am

right

Add an article

the right

show examples

person for

this

Linking Words

posting?

Firstly

Linking Words

, I have experience

Change preposition

show examples

daycare.

Secondly

Linking Words

, I am a student of early childhood education

hence

Linking Words

, I know how to handle children in every situation.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, I am

Change the article

show examples

experienced cook so I can prepare delicious meals for your child.

Apart from

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, whenever I will be vacant. I will watch good

education

Replace the word

educational

show examples

movie

Fix the agreement mistake

movies

show examples

and

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

read good

story books

Correct your spelling

storybooks

show examples

so that I can learn more about kids and how to take care more. Hopefully, you will consider my application. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Waris Saroye

Submitted by kb781920 on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on specific experiences and skills related to childcare, perhaps with examples, to enrich your task response.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use linking words to improve the logical flow between sentences.

greeting and closing

The letter has a clear and respectful greeting and closing, which enhances the tone.

task achievement

The writing uses a polite and suitable tone for a formal application, which is appreciated.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

158 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Air tranport is increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to other countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. Some people say this is good but other believe the use air transport for this purpose is not justified. Discuss both veiws and give your opinion.

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want without paying on the Internet. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.