IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that national news is very important and we should be up to date with national news. However, some says international news is more important as we should stay up to date with that. Discuss both and give your opinion

#people #news #date
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In today's contemporary world, being familiar with the current affairs across the globe is considered an asset and keeps you on your toes regarding some key aspects.
People
 often argue that they should be
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 date about their nation's updates
however
, others think international
level
 scoop is more vital. Both scenarios have their pros and cons, the former and latter will be discussed in
this
 essay
conisdering
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considering
 some key factors to shape an unbiased opinion.
To begin
 with ,
large
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a large
show examples
 sum of
people
 believe in being thorough with their country's exclusive reports , as
this
 plays
key
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a key
show examples
 role for them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial and lifestyle
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
. The newsletter
,
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apply
show examples
 gives an exact image of how well a homeland is performing and
also
 realistically weighs potential threats to
economy
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the economy
show examples
 . In
additon
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addition
 to that ,
newsreports
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news reports
 are considered
as
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apply
show examples
a mode of communication between the government and the residents, all major updates , amendments and new laws are published nationwide.
For instance
 , If you live in India and are familiar with
whats
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what's
show examples
 going on in China you won't be able to settle in the place.
Thus
, making it a necessity for locals to be
well-aware
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well aware
show examples
 of
whats
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what
show examples
 happening
around
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around them
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
hefty
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a hefty
show examples
 amount of individuals trust in familiarising
with
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themselves with
show examples
international
Add a hyphen
international-level
show examples
level
 releases which can adversely enforce major alterations worldwide.
This
 group mainly consists of
buisnessmans
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businessmen
businessman
, politicians and rich individuals who are investing in different provinces , they have to remain on top of all international happenings .
Moreover
 , some complex
level
 decisions and modifications are
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
 at
global
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the global
show examples
level
 significantly affecting different
sovereigns
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sovereigns'
sovereign's
show examples
 stability.
For example
, Most countries follow bold moves of other provinces to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 globalization
therefore
,
people
 plan ahead by evaluating the scenario from international updates. In summation,
according to
 my
perspective
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perspective,
show examples
 both national and international
level
 news plays an important role
to create
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in creating
show examples
 a balanced approach for individuals .
People
 can
opt in
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opt-in
show examples
 as to what information is most important as per their needs and stick to that approach. We can never rely on either one as the more the
merier
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more
.
Submitted by pranav.dhawan28 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure and coherence of your essay. Consider using transition words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure all main points are supported with clear, relevant examples. Try to use specific data or real-life scenarios to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Focus on the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Ensure that each point is fully developed and clearly explained.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and sets the stage for the discussion.
complete response
A balanced argument is presented, discussing both the importance of national and international news.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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