Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your option.

It is argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication
has
demolished
Add a missing verb
been demolished
show examples
within
Change preposition
between
show examples
family and
friends
due to
TV
. I disagree with
this
point because I believe that
this
technology brought family more
close
Replace the word
closer
show examples
and
also
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
discussions with
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
family members. I will explain my point of view in the following paragraphs. Sports events on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
such
as live cricket
match
Fix the agreement mistake
matches
show examples
and
Correct article usage
the olympics
show examples
olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
show examples
bring family and
friends
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
close .
In other words
, Everyone is busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
their
buzy
Correct your spelling
busy
lifestyle and burnout at some point . Whenever there is a live sports event
then
most likely family members book a day in advance in order to watch that event together .
For example
, in Canada , most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men and women took a day off from work in order to watch
final
Add an article
the final
show examples
match of
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
Cup 2024 together.
People
enjoy companionship
while
watching shows and like to talk about it
afterwords
Correct your spelling
afterwards
show examples
to analyse how was the show.
Thus
, I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
people
become
more close
Replace the words
closer
show examples
and
communication
Add a missing verb
has increase
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
due to
this
technology. Another reason is that
discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
show examples
happen
while
watching
TV
shows . I believe that men and women love to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things on the phone or whenever they meet .
TV
engages all family members to discuss something even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
are living far away from each other .
For example
,
In
Change preposition
During
show examples
period
Add an article
the period
a period
show examples
of Covid-19 ,
people
most
Add a missing verb
are most
show examples
likely to talk on phones and spend lots of time watching
TV
.
People
get to know
update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
show examples
on news about what happening all around the world,
thus
, discuss on phones
at the end
. I believe that it would be insignificant to say that
this
source
destroy
Change the verb form
destroys
show examples
the
communication
but
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
a lot of information to discuss among
friends
and family. In conclusion , some
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that
communication
has
destroyed
Add a missing verb
been destroyed
show examples
among family and
friends
due to
TV
but I believe that because of
this
source
Add a comma
source,
show examples
everyone become
more close
Replace the words
closer
show examples
towards each other and
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of information to discuss even
all
Correct word choice
though all
show examples
men and women live far away.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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task achievement
The introduction clearly presents your stance, which is good. However, it would be beneficial to further elaborate on how TV has specifically brought families closer. Adding more detailed examples and extending your explanations can make your task response stronger.
task achievement
More elaboration and variety in sentence structures in your body paragraphs can improve the clarity and comprehension of your ideas. Avoid repetition and try to expand on the points made with additional detail or a broader perspective.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is generally well-organized, but the logical structure could be improved. Make sure your ideas flow smoothly from one point to the next. Use more transitional phrases and connectors to help with the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally supported, but adding even more specific examples and details would make your argument stronger and more convincing. Try to incorporate varied examples from different contexts to substantiate your points further.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly stating your main point and summarizing your argument effectively.
relevant specific examples
You've included relevant examples, such as the sports events and COVID-19 scenarios, to support your points, which helps illustrate your arguments.
complete response
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides a structured response, which is commendable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distraction
  • monopolize
  • meaningful conversations
  • engrossed
  • face-to-face interactions
  • weakened bonds
  • diminished quality
  • superficial content
  • sensational
  • negatively affecting
  • social development
  • family-oriented programs
  • bonding activities
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