Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your option.

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It is argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication
Use synonyms
has
demolished
Add a missing verb
been demolished
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within
Change preposition
between
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family and
friends
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
TV
Use synonyms
. I disagree with
this
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point because I believe that
this
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technology brought family more
close
Replace the word
closer
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and
also
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increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
discussions with
in
Change preposition
apply
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family members. I will explain my point of view in the following paragraphs. Sports events on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
such
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as live cricket
match
Fix the agreement mistake
matches
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and
Correct article usage
the olympics
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olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
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bring family and
friends
Use synonyms
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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close .
In other words
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, Everyone is busy
in
Change preposition
with
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their
buzy
Correct your spelling
busy
lifestyle and burnout at some point . Whenever there is a live sports event
then
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most likely family members book a day in advance in order to watch that event together .
For example
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, in Canada , most
of
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apply
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men and women took a day off from work in order to watch
final
Add an article
the final
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match of
World
Correct article usage
the World
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Cup 2024 together.
People
Use synonyms
enjoy companionship
while
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watching shows and like to talk about it
afterwords
Correct your spelling
afterwards
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to analyse how was the show.
Thus
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, I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
people
Use synonyms
become
more close
Replace the words
closer
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and
communication
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
has increase
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increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
due to
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this
Linking Words
technology. Another reason is that
discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
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happen
while
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watching
TV
Use synonyms
shows . I believe that men and women love to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things on the phone or whenever they meet .
TV
Use synonyms
engages all family members to discuss something even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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are living far away from each other .
For example
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,
In
Change preposition
During
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period
Add an article
the period
a period
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of Covid-19 ,
people
Use synonyms
most
Add a missing verb
are most
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likely to talk on phones and spend lots of time watching
TV
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
get to know
update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
show examples
on news about what happening all around the world,
thus
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, discuss on phones
at the end
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. I believe that it would be insignificant to say that
this
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source
destroy
Change the verb form
destroys
show examples
the
communication
Use synonyms
but
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instead
Add a comma
instead,
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it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
a lot of information to discuss among
friends
Use synonyms
and family. In conclusion , some
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
that
communication
Use synonyms
has
destroyed
Add a missing verb
been destroyed
show examples
among family and
friends
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
TV
Use synonyms
but I believe that because of
this
Linking Words
source
Add a comma
source,
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everyone become
more close
Replace the words
closer
show examples
towards each other and
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of information to discuss even
all
Correct word choice
though all
show examples
men and women live far away.

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task achievement
The introduction clearly presents your stance, which is good. However, it would be beneficial to further elaborate on how TV has specifically brought families closer. Adding more detailed examples and extending your explanations can make your task response stronger.
task achievement
More elaboration and variety in sentence structures in your body paragraphs can improve the clarity and comprehension of your ideas. Avoid repetition and try to expand on the points made with additional detail or a broader perspective.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is generally well-organized, but the logical structure could be improved. Make sure your ideas flow smoothly from one point to the next. Use more transitional phrases and connectors to help with the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally supported, but adding even more specific examples and details would make your argument stronger and more convincing. Try to incorporate varied examples from different contexts to substantiate your points further.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly stating your main point and summarizing your argument effectively.
relevant specific examples
You've included relevant examples, such as the sports events and COVID-19 scenarios, to support your points, which helps illustrate your arguments.
complete response
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides a structured response, which is commendable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • distraction
  • monopolize
  • meaningful conversations
  • engrossed
  • face-to-face interactions
  • weakened bonds
  • diminished quality
  • superficial content
  • sensational
  • negatively affecting
  • social development
  • family-oriented programs
  • bonding activities
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