IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph and chart above give information about 3D cinema screens and film releases. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and chart above give information about 3D cinema screens and film releases. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #cinema #screens #film #releases #summarise #features #comparisons
The table and graph
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the information about 3D movie screens and movie premiers. The first graph shows the amount of global digital 3d screens, during 2005 and 2011.
Throughout from
Change preposition
From
show examples
 2005 to 2008, these electronic devices were not popular, approximately from 2000 to 3000 pieces.
As a result
,
of
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it could be their price
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and lack of
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 films or animations.
However
, from 2009 to 2011, those screens saw an enormous rise in interest, rising from 3000 to approximately 37500 pieces. What is more, the next chart reveals cinema releases. It is needless to say
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
from 2005 to 2008 the number
releases
Change preposition
of releases
show examples
 was as low as it was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 electronic devices.
Nevertheless
, the quantity of releases, namely
live action
Add a hyphen
live-action
show examples
 and animations, was increasing enormously.
Overall
, taking into consideration all of
this
 information,
while
 technologies throughout these years were evolving, in fact, people's curiosity in
this
 industry increased.
Submitted by acaitaz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: