Some people say that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while other believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #reward #students #show #results #improvements

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is debated that some individuals think that institutions have to give incentives for those who are the top

students

Use synonyms

or the ones who are showing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good progress in

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

of education. I believe that both are

significance

Replace the word

significant

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

craete

Correct your spelling

create

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

academic environment.

To begin

Linking Words

with, rewarding the best academic

students

Use synonyms

can help

motivates

Wrong verb form

motivate

show examples

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. When a person is being appreciated, they will continue to become the best for themselves.

For example

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

with a straight A result will keep themselves on maintaining high academic standards.

In addition

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

actions

also

Linking Words

help other

students

Use synonyms

to strive for

excellence

Replace the word

excellent

show examples

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, others will

also

Linking Words

be motivated to study hard, aiming towards a better outcome.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, recognizing

students

Use synonyms

who demonstrate significant improvement can boost their self-esteem.

For instance

Linking Words

, when a slow learner has been rewarded owing to their performance, their efforts will be recognized by others, and

this

Linking Words

helps them to feel

confidence

Replace the word

confident

show examples

about themselves.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

encourages them to move forward despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

small changes in

such

Linking Words

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

world. In conclusion, I believe that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

balancing the two approaches can create an inclusive environment where both top

students

Use synonyms

and progress are celebrated. It is important because it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

to motivate and increase one's confidence.

Submitted by tifjong on Thu Aug 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While the essay presents a balanced view of both perspectives on rewarding students, it would benefit from a more elaborate development of ideas. Extend the explanation and examples for both views to ensure they are fully developed and explored.

coherence cohesion

Work on making smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing by proofreading your essay. This will help improve the clarity and readability of your writing.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay a cohesive structure.

task achievement

The essay successfully discusses both perspectives on the topic, showing a balanced consideration of both sides.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

212 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

academic excellence
growth mindset
significant improvement
high academic standards
personal development
diverse learning paces
competitive academic environment
hard work and talent
supportive environment
inclusive
acknowledge
showcase

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
It is commonly said that today’s children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.
Some people believe that our children today are facing enormous challenges. So, they feel pressure because of that. Also, our children need care in this time more than ever. In this essay, I will discuss this challenges and what to do about it.
6
band
Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Somw people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that we should focus more on improving living conditions on our planet, and some believe that more money should be spent on space research. This writer believes that more money should be spent on space research because there are positive signals for poverty and the need for space exploration.
4
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign langulage can cause serious problems, as well as practical problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Communication with each other has played a major role in our lives. Even-though, majority of the world are being used english language, there are a plenty of states which are speaking a specific languages for that particular state. All the human needs and theidea sharing are also depend on the ability of language usage. If it may not able to do proper way, it might be a crucious social and practical issue for all the citizen who stay at a particular country. According to my point of view, I have entirely justified with the mentioned statement. This essay will argue that the social problems and the practical issues which might be happen in the counrty.
6
band
Write about the following topic: In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
These days, many people have more opportunities to travel around the world. In my opinion, travelling is one of the greatest experiences a human can go through. This essay will prove that upsides of international tourism outweigh the downsides.
5
band
Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Other believe people have become independent.Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is argued that whether nowadays, the dependence on each other are becoming less significant among our society or vice versa. This essay aims to display a closer look at both sides and explain the write's belief that individuals are becoming less independent on another one.

Some people say that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while other believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Word Count

It is commonly said that today’s children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Somw people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign langulage can cause serious problems, as well as practical problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Other believe people have become independent.Discuss both views and give your opinion