"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#prevention #cure #country #health #budget #proportion #treatment #education #measures

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Modern education is classified as prevention and cure. In

this

world, a large number of

people

are dying from various health-related problems.

This

is why, my suggestion is that

Correct article usage

the

show examples

government needs to spend a good

amount

of money

for

Change preposition

show examples

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

budget and educate the

people

about preventive measures.

To begin

with, it is evident that, in most

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

health education is hardly given any importance among the

people

. When

people

are made aware of health-related issues, it naturally affects on prevention of

diseases

by making basic alterations in lifestyles.

For example

, in most developing countries

people

are accustomed to fast food without knowing how harmful it can be to one's body in the long term.

People

are suffering from many communicable

diseases

without knowing the disadvantages of consuming unhygienic food and water.

On the other hand

, it should be reminded that all modern

diseases

are preventable and it is critical to maintain research on cures for all

diseases

Therefore

, a good

amount

should be funded for curing

diseases

as well by the government.

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

life-threatening

diseases

like cancer cannot be prevented by basic measures and

hence

there should be funds allocated to cure and research

Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

horrifying

diseases

To conclude

, a government needs to spend a fair

amount

of money on treatment too, but a high proportion of the

amount

should be spent on health education and preventive measures so that a larger population of a country can live in a healthy environment with less burden.

Submitted by koch25 on Thu Aug 15 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a good response to the task, addressing both preventative measures and the need for funds for treatment. To improve, you can provide more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs. However, linking words and phrases could be used more effectively to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are present, the introduction could better outline the main points that will be discussed. Consider providing a brief overview of each point in the introductory paragraph.

task achievement

The main ideas were clearly expressed, and the essay addresses the prompt with a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion is clear and effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive measures
health education
public awareness
proactive approach
unsustainable
economic productivity
healthcare system
vaccinations
curative measures
comprehensive healthcare
financial burden
incidence
preventable diseases
eradicating
controlling
allocated

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"Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Word Count

Please make an essay: Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences Discuss both sides of this argument and then give you own opinion.

An old car was left on the street near your street several weeks ago. The car is now causing a problem for residents. Write a letter to the Council. In your letter: * Describe the car * Outline the problems it is causing * Tell the Council what you want them to do about it

Some people think that govements should spend money for faster public transportation , others think that there are other important priortities . Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many people believe that learning a foreign language is a very difficult task. What are the most difficult things about learning a foreign language? What is the best way to overcome them?

in some countries, more and more people are becoming intrested in finding out about the history of the houses or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?