IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter • remind him when and where you met • tell him what kind of job you are interested in • say why you think you would be suitable for the job

#plane #journey #businessman #chain #restaurants #contact #job
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Dear Sir, I am
passenger
Correct article usage
a passenger
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 sat next to you during a recent plane journey. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter
remind
Fix the infinitive
to remind
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 you about your invitation. When we met
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the plane, you suggested that I should contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
you about a possible
job
Use synonyms
 in one of your restaurants. I want to be
waiter
Add an article
a waiter
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 in your
restaurants
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurant
show examples
. I know It is not
Add an article
a
show examples
well-paid
job
Use synonyms
 but it is
very
Add an article
a very
the very
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 comfortable
job
Use synonyms
 for getting practical experience. I chose it because I want to achieve everything with my own movements. I believe the
job
Use synonyms
 is suitable for me.
Also
Linking Words
, I have good communication skills. When I was
student
Add an article
a student
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 I have been
waiter
Add an article
a waiter
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 in a restaurant for
part-time
Add an article
a part-time
show examples
job
Use synonyms
. I know I would provide excellent service.
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
show examples
 faithfully, Laziza
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Ensure your letter is free from grammatical errors and awkward expressions. For example, 'I am passenger which sat' should be 'I am the passenger who sat' and 'contact with you' should be 'contact you'.
task achievement
Expand on specific details to strengthen your letter. Mention any particular experience or skills that directly relate to the restaurant job you're interested in.
greeting and closing
The greeting 'Dear Sir,' and the closing 'Yours faithfully,' are both appropriately polite and professional.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph is dedicated to a single idea, maintaining clarity in your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • chain of restaurants
  • potential job opportunity
  • relevant experience
  • managerial role
  • customer service
  • qualifications
  • certifications
  • unique skills
  • eagerness
  • admiration
  • resume
  • references
  • face-to-face meeting
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