The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.   Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the number of
trips
made by the young population -aged from 5- 12 years- in one country in 1990 and 2010 to go to and from school using various
methods
of transportation. the total number of
trips
was measured in millions.
overall
, with the exception of car use, all other
methods
were more widely used back in 1990 than in 2010.
while
the car was the most utilized method in 2010, it was the least accepted one in 1990. regarding the
methods
depend on physical activity namely: walking, cycling and walking
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
,
while
walking was the most used
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
show examples
in 1990
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
almost 12 million
trips
, it was cut off to nearly half in 2010 with almost 6 million
trips
.
additionally
cycling and walking and bus in 1990
wree
Correct your spelling
were
higher than in 2010 by almost 4 and 3 million
trips
respectively.
on the other hand
,
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles such
show examples
as
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
and
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
were
commomly
Correct your spelling
commonly
used in 2010
Submitted by haderabouslema93 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words trips, methods with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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