IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012 You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012 You should write at least 150 words.
#line #percentages #australian #export #four #countries #percentage #exports
The
graph
Correct your spelling
displays
displayes
Correct your spelling
displays
 the percentage of
exports
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
australia
Change the capitalization
Australia
show examples
 to Japan,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
,
China
 and
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 in the
Correct your spelling
period
person
perion
Correct your spelling
period
 from 1990 to 2012
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
 of
exports
 to
China
ammounted
Correct your spelling
amounted
 to around 2.5% in 1990 which was the second least indicator in the line
graph
. In ten years , deliveries to
China
twiced
Correct your spelling
twice
 and
then
 increased to approximately 13% in 2005. It
then
 precipitously skyrocketed to 27 % in another 5 years , reaching the peak of the whole
graph
 of 30% in 2012.Turning to India,
commosities
Correct your spelling
commodities
communities
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
 there accounted for just a
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 which is the lowest point
ih
Correct your spelling
in
 the
graph
. In 2005 deliveries to
China
 rose mildly to 5 % and
then
hits
Wrong verb form
hit
show examples
 its peak in 2010 of 7% before falling to 6% by 2012 Turning to
exports
 which had dropped in percentage. Japan
exports
 made up around 27% which was the ultimate highest in 1990 , but
then
 its figure
declines
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 to 20 after 5 years and
keeps
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 steadily falling to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
18%
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
Exports
 to
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 ,
accounted
Correct pronoun usage
which accounted
show examples
 for 12% dropped and gained 3% in 200 and
then
 dramatically fell to 11% in 20
Submitted by zhaniya.azhdarova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add some linking words.
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, exports, china with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Percentage
  • Exports
  • Trend analysis
  • Upward/downward trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Comparison
  • Peak performance
  • Decline
  • Stability
  • Significant
  • Inferred
  • Global events
  • Economic context
  • Reflect
  • Influence
  • Patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: