You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
MAny
people have to leave their Correct your spelling
Many
houseS
and Correct your spelling
houses
family
in Fix the agreement mistake
families
ordeR
to get a Correct your spelling
order
joB
.In my opinion,THE advantages of moving away in aims at finding work Correct your spelling
job
outweight
THE disadvantages , because it stands the chance of having A higher Correct your spelling
outweigh
liVelihood
and upgrading life.
Moving away from your hometown might leave you homesick.Leaving your family and fellows at once can be emotionally tough since one Correct your spelling
likelihood
haS
already built strong Correct your spelling
has
relationshipS
and connections .Many people, dwelling in another place to work regret about decision TO DETACH from their family, Correct your spelling
relationships
subsequently
they may be lonely and TRAPPED in sadness. In addition
, if an early adult haS
just left the house they are going to face THE music Correct your spelling
has
WHILE
keeping household chores. To illustrate, mAn
who moved to a new city alone might really struggle TO cook for himself a meal or clean their clothes.Correct your spelling
man
However
, in comparison with merits, moving away poses only possibilities, and the feeling of homesickness and inability to run chores is a further
opportunity for development.
The forte of moving away from your relatives and friends is the career oppOrtunities
that you can find in A different city or country. In pursuit of making a bundle people flock to developed cities to get a Correct your spelling
opportunities
joB
and provide for their family .It is evident that THE workers in INDUSTRIALIZED Correct your spelling
job
countrIES
remuneration is twice more than in their homeland. Change noun form
country's
countrIES'
Moreover
, if one seeks to uplift their life level, residing and working in a big company can provide it. Life in big cities facilitates some nuisances of small towns , sush
as transportation, food assortment and Correct your spelling
such
tecnology
.
In summary, Correct your spelling
technology
merits
of moving away present more perks in means of Correct article usage
the merits
wage
and lifestyle. Demerits of Fix the agreement mistake
wages
this
are insignificant because they can be solved for your own development and Correct your spelling
advantage
advantege
Correct your spelling
advantage
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coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your essay into clear paragraphs with a topic sentence for each main point. Each paragraph should elaborate on a single idea to improve clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more specific examples to illustrate your points. Detailed examples can strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding.
linguistic accuracy
Pay attention to your grammar, especially with articles and prepositions, to avoid small errors. For instance, 'in aims at' should be 'with the aim of' and 'might leave you homesick' should be 'might make you homesick.'
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to always write in full sentences and refine your punctuation. Example: 'mAny people, dwelling in another place to work regret about decision TO DETACH from their family, subsequently they may be lonely and TRAPPED in sadness.' could be rephrased as 'Many people who move to another place for work regret their decision to detach from their family, subsequently leading to loneliness and sadness.'
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and ties back to your introduction, providing a clear stance.
linguistic resourcefulness
You have incorporated a variety of vocabulary and attempted complex sentence structures, which shows a good command of language.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.