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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three pie charts show the proportion of four kinds of vehicles used in the UK in 1965, 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts show the proportion of four kinds of vehicles used in the UK in 1965, 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #show #proportion #four #kinds #vehicles #uk #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts below
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the percentage of 4 kinds of
cars
Use synonyms
 in British in the years of 1965, 1985 and 2005. It's obvious that most citizens in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 liked private
cars
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the proportion of recreational
vehicles
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 was the lowest.
Except
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Except for
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 personal
cars
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, other
cars
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 all showed a decreasing trend during those years. In 1965, British people who used their own
cars
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 occupied the largest ratio, with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 40%, which was evidently higher than that of public
vehicles
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(25%). Meanwhile, lorries and other
commercical
Correct your spelling
commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
 took up 20% of the quantity, compared with 15% for recreational
cars
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, which was the lowest. When it comes to 1985, the proportion of personal
vehicles
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 saw
an
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a
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 significant upward and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
55%, which was more than two times
of
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apply
show examples
that of public transport and
commercical
Correct your spelling
commercial
cars
Use synonyms
(both 20%).
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of
cars
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 for entertainment decreased quickly and fell to only 5%. When
time
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the time
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comes
Wrong verb form
came
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 to 2005,
vehicles
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 for personal
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
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 continued to
went
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go
show examples
 up and
finally
Linking Words
 reached 60%, which was the highest, which was almost 3 times of public transport(22%).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the proportion of lorries and other
commercical
Correct your spelling
commercial
cars
Use synonyms
 dropped to 10%, which was merely half of that in 1985,
while
Linking Words
 entertainment
vehicles
Use synonyms
 grew up to 8%, which was still the lowest one.
Submitted by Phigros666 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, vehicles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Proportion
  • Dominant
  • Fluctuations
  • Noticeable increase
  • Significantly decreased
  • Consistent rise
  • Continuous decline
  • Varied trends
  • Data illustrates
  • Common vehicle type
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