Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

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Some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have the habit of purchasing
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their debt, which they do not require and are even unable to purchase. One of the reasons for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

behaviour is some
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

consider buying goods as a form of showing status. Awareness campaigns can help to control
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

habit of buying unnecessary goods. There is a common belief in our society is, the more
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or luxuries you have, the more you will be valued and respected by others.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

even borrow money to compete with others in buying
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff

It appears that stuffs is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and represent them as rich in front of others. Another important reason for purchasing goods is buying
things
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gives them a sense of satisfaction or pleasure, which they find suitable for their mental peace.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, women in the UK, generally buy a lot
unnecessary
Change preposition
of unnecessary

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
clothings
Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing

It appears that clothings is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
and make-up items, and about 60% of them
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
never
wear
Correct pronoun usage
wear them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. The measure
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
be taken to prevent
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

purchasing
Change preposition
from purchasing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
unnecessary items is awareness campaigns. The government should come forward to encourage
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

about
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
not
buying
Change the verb form
to buy

Buying doesn’t seem to work here.

show examples
things
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

unnecesary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary

If you don’t want unnecesary to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

or out of their
affordablity
Correct your spelling
affordability

If you don’t want affordablity to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, because buying unnecessary items leads to producing unnecessary
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to

The preposition for after the adjective harmful may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

show examples
the environment. Several other non-government and social welfare organizations should come forward to promote
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

campaign
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
because it would help not
producing
Wrong verb form
produce

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb producing. Consider changing it.

show examples
unnecessary
products
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the USA,
public
Add an article
the public

The noun phrase public seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
has become aware of not purchasing unnecessary
things
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

only because of the campaigns of not buying unnecessary
things
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, buying
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff

It appears that stuffs is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

show examples
unnecessarily or out of affordability might be a reason for luxury to some individuals. Only awareness can help
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
encourage
Wrong verb form
be encouraged

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb encourage. Consider changing it.

show examples
regarding
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

matter.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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introduction conclusion
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a conclusion, which gives your essay a clear structure. However, make sure to expand the body paragraphs to fully develop your ideas and examples.
logical structure
While your essay is logically structured, improving the clarity of transitions between paragraphs can enhance readability. For instance, use phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' etc. to create smoother transitions.
supported main points
Ensure each main point in your essay is fully supported by robust examples and explanations. For instance, elaborating more on the psychological reasons behind impulsive buying and providing varied examples could strengthen your argument.
complete response
Your response covers both parts of the task, but could delve deeper into each point. Consider discussing more varied reasons for this behavior beyond just social status and mental satisfaction.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to make them more comprehensive. This includes discussing the long-term impacts of debt and providing more varied preventive measures.
relevant specific examples
Your examples are relevant but could be more detailed. Including more statistical data or real-life studies would make your arguments more convincing.
introduction conclusion
You have a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
logical structure
Your ideas are logically presented, making the essay easy to follow.
complete response
You have addressed the task effectively, covering both reasons and actions that can be taken to mitigate the problem.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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