Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
Some
people
have the habit of purchasing products
by
their debt, which they do not require and are even unable to purchase. One of the reasons for Change preposition
from
this
behaviour is some people
consider buying goods as a form of showing status. Awareness campaigns can help to control this
habit of buying unnecessary goods.
There is a common belief in our society is, the more products
or luxuries you have, the more you will be valued and respected by others. Therefore
, people
even borrow money to compete with others in buying stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
,
and represent them as rich in front of others. Another important reason for purchasing goods is buying Remove the comma
apply
things
gives them a sense of satisfaction or pleasure, which they find suitable for their mental peace. For example
, women in the UK, generally buy a lot unnecessary
Change preposition
of unnecessary
clothings
and make-up items, and about 60% of them Change the wording
clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
they
never Correct pronoun usage
apply
wear
.
The measure Correct pronoun usage
wear them
can
be taken to prevent Correct pronoun usage
that can
people
purchasing
unnecessary items is awareness campaigns. The government should come forward to encourage Change preposition
from purchasing
people
about
not Change preposition
apply
buying
Change the verb form
to buy
things
unnecesary
or out of their Correct your spelling
unnecessary
affordablity
, because buying unnecessary items leads to producing unnecessary Correct your spelling
affordability
products
, which is harmful for
the environment. Several other non-government and social welfare organizations should come forward to promote Change the preposition
to
this
campaign,
because it would help not Remove the comma
apply
producing
unnecessary Wrong verb form
produce
products
. For example
, in the USA, public
has become aware of not purchasing unnecessary Add an article
the public
things
only because of the campaigns of not buying unnecessary things
.
To conclude
, buying stuffs
unnecessarily or out of affordability might be a reason for luxury to some individuals. Only awareness can help Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
people
to encourage
regarding Wrong verb form
be encouraged
this
matter.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a conclusion, which gives your essay a clear structure. However, make sure to expand the body paragraphs to fully develop your ideas and examples.
logical structure
While your essay is logically structured, improving the clarity of transitions between paragraphs can enhance readability. For instance, use phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' etc. to create smoother transitions.
supported main points
Ensure each main point in your essay is fully supported by robust examples and explanations. For instance, elaborating more on the psychological reasons behind impulsive buying and providing varied examples could strengthen your argument.
complete response
Your response covers both parts of the task, but could delve deeper into each point. Consider discussing more varied reasons for this behavior beyond just social status and mental satisfaction.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to make them more comprehensive. This includes discussing the long-term impacts of debt and providing more varied preventive measures.
relevant specific examples
Your examples are relevant but could be more detailed. Including more statistical data or real-life studies would make your arguments more convincing.
introduction conclusion
You have a strong and clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
logical structure
Your ideas are logically presented, making the essay easy to follow.
complete response
You have addressed the task effectively, covering both reasons and actions that can be taken to mitigate the problem.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite