IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families, individuals and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In different nations, global fast
food
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 takes the place of the local
food
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 leading to
davestating
Correct your spelling
devastating
 effects on families and
communties
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communities
.
While
Linking Words
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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favoured by many people,
i
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I
show examples
 totally
agrea
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agree
 that its cons
outweight
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outweigh
outweighed
 its pros. Through
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
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I
show examples
 will discuss the effects of the competition between fast and local
food
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. Fast
food
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 is
preferd
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preferred
worldwidely
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worldwide
 by consumers from
disticnt
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distinct
 backgrounds, ages, and regions.To illustrate,
This
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 is a result of its
availablity
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availability
, low cost, and time, which is significantly low compared to traditional
food
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.
For example
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, if a person is heading home
while
Linking Words
 being
exhastued
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exhausted
 after work, they can order decent male from
fast-
Correct article usage
a fast-food
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food
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restaurun
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restaurant
restaurants
 and it will be prepared within ten minutes or less.
Additionally
Linking Words
, people tend to prefer new, unique, meals over the regular
food
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 in their community.
For example
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, they prefer American or Asian
food
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 over local
food
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.
However
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, fast and newly introduced
food
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devstate
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devastate
devastates
devastated
 both the health of the eaters, the culture of the community, and the local economy. As
it's needed
Wrong verb form
it needs
show examples
 to be
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prepared
preperad
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prepared
 quickly, fast
food
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 involves the
using
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use
show examples
 of a lot of chemicals and oils that
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causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
a long terms desises
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long-term diseases
,
such
Linking Words
 as obesity and heart problems.
Additionally
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, as fast
food
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 replaces local
food
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, it
causes
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 the
indvidulas
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individual
individuals
 to
loose
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lose
show examples
 the connection with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
food
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, which is
representation
Correct article usage
a representation
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to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the country's history and conventions. Though fast
food
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restaurunts
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restaurants
 are offering
a
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apply
show examples
new jobs, it
causes
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 a lot of local providers of traditional
food
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 to shut down.
To sum up
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, though fast
food
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 is getting
a
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apply
show examples
very wide popularity, it
causes
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a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
major harm to
soceity
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society
,
indvidulas
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individuals
 and
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.

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Task Response
You have addressed the prompt and provided a clear opinion, which is good. However, your ideas could be better supported with more detailed examples and explanations. Providing more specific data or studies would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized, but some points lack clear connections or transitions. Try to use more linking words and phrases to make the essay flow better. Also, make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that this is clearly stated at the beginning of the paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion},{
The introduction outlines the issue and your stance, but the conclusion could be stronger in summarizing the key points. A well-crafted conclusion can help to reinforce your main argument and leave a lasting impression.
Task Response
You clearly state your opinion and maintain it throughout the essay, which shows good task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have provided a logical structure in your essay with distinct paragraphs for different points.
Task Response
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets the context of the essay well.
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