IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve gowing trafic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#price #petrol #trafic #pollution #measures
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Undoubtedly,
immense
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an immense
the immense
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 amount of
traffic
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 and
pollution
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issues
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 has become
the
Correct article usage
a
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 major problem in today's world.
However
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, maximum changes in petrol rates and multifarious effective measures can overcome the
above- mentioned
Correct your spelling
above-mentioned
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 obstacles.
This
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 essay will discuss my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, not only
people
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 will prefer public transportation
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 prefer
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a car
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car pooling
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carpooling
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 system to minimize the adverse
issues
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 of
pollution
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 and
traffic
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.
Due to
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this
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, there will be
less
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fewer
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 cars
in
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on
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 the road
while
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 travelling by buses and sky train because they are eco-friendly and convenient.
Besides
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, affordable bus fairs can be lucrative for everyone to save their precious money.
For example
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,
according
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to
Change preposition
apply
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Canada
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Canadian
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 survey (2022) said that petrol prices
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doubled than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 used to
be in
Verb problem
apply
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before
pandemic
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the pandemic
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 time. During
this
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 time,
people
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 used to travel by public transportation and saved a lot of money.
Moreover
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, if
people
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 are going to
same
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the same
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 job
than
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then
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car- pooling
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carpooling
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 can be
amazing
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an amazing
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 way to travel and profitable for
environment
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the environment
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.
Furthermore
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, the
authority
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authorities
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 can organise awareness camps about the enormous
traffic
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 and
pollution
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 problems, which can be useful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society to get more knowledge about the
issues
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.
Hence
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,
this
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 can be lucrative to control the major problem.
Last
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 but not least,
the
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apply
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car companies can launch more hybrid and electric cars, which can encourage
people
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 to buy them. Not only
electric
Add a missing verb
do electric
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 cars help to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
issues
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, but
also
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 more eco-friendly.
consquently
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, these measures can help to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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big
issues
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.
To conclude
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, increasing the petrol prices can reduce the
traffic
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 and
pollution
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as well as
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 the awareness provided by the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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 can be
prudent
Add an article
a prudent
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 approach.
Also
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,
this
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 is
Correct article usage
the responsible
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responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
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 of every individual to take
this
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 problem seriously and control it.
Submitted by kulvir1910 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for your argument. However, it could be improved by explicitly stating your thesis, e.g., 'I believe that while increasing petrol prices might help to some extent, other measures are also necessary.'
logical structure
Try to make your paragraphs more distinct. Each paragraph should have one main idea, and the supporting points should clearly relate to that idea. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
supported main points
Some points in your essay, such as carpooling and the use of public transport, are well-supported. However, you should aim to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, discuss the success of specific carpooling programs or the impact of electric cars in particular countries.
complete response
Your essay addresses the question well but could be improved by discussing both sides of the argument more comprehensively. You could mention the possible drawbacks of increasing petrol prices and then counter these with your other measures.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay covers several points but could be more comprehensive. Use clear and concise language to convey your ideas. Try to avoid repetition and aim for precise wording to make your argument stronger.
relevant specific examples
Your essay contains relevant examples which support your argument well, such as the Canada survey example.
introduction conclusion present
You provide a clear and logical conclusion that ties together the points made in your essay.
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