Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student. In this regard, peers have more of an impact than teachers do. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Undoubtedly,
emotional
growth and school performance of Correct article usage
the emotional
students
inspire
Wrong verb form
are inspired
from
various factors. Change preposition
by
However
, friends
put
more impact as compared to instructors. Verb problem
have
This
essay will discuss my opinions in regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
of
Change preposition
to
above-mentioned
statement in the upcoming paragraphs.
Correct article usage
the above-mentioned
To begin
with, students
influence
Wrong verb form
are influenced
from
their Change preposition
by
friends
a lot because of competition skills amongst them to achieve wonderful marks in academics. Due to
this
, students
do an immense amount of hardwork
to prove themselves better than Correct your spelling
hard work
others
. For example
, every kid want
to get the first prize in education, which can make them special Change the verb form
wants
students
in a classroom. During the exams
Add a comma
exams,
students
spend their most of time on studies
because they want to get better marks than Correct pronoun usage
their studies
others
. Furthermore
, company matters a lot because kids learn from their surroundings such
as manners. Not only peers
influence them in Add a missing verb
do peers
studies
but Correct pronoun usage
their studies
also
teach them how to behave in front of others
.
Moreover
, emotional development skills are learned by folks from their friends
because this
is profitable for them to understand relationships
values. Not only peers can teach how to support Fix the agreement mistake
relationship
the
Correct article usage
apply
friends
but also
wonderful way to learn how to help others
. For instance
, every kid has a
best Correct article usage
apply
friends
and learners spend most of their time with them, which develop
their emotional growth. During trouble incidents, Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
students
always help each other.
To conclude
, friends
influence the education and feelings of adolescents which can be lucrative for their personal growth because they learn from real life
experiences. Add a hyphen
real-life
Also
, improving competition skills, manners, and emotional development is a prudent approach for
a fruitful life.Change preposition
to
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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from including counterarguments to make it more balanced. Mention views supporting the influence of teachers and provide arguments against those points, then refute them with your strong points on peer influence.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity. For example, "influence from" should be "are influenced by," and "friends put more impact" should be "friends have more impact."
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and logically follows the previous one. This improves the overall flow of your essay. For example, make sure your arguments about competition skills and emotional development are distinctly separated.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the discussion well.
relevant specific examples
You have included relevant examples that help illustrate your points. This strengthens your argument.