The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
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The present line graph shows how the data of surveys gathered from
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the visitors
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visitors
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visitors'
visitor's
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information
office
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offices
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in a region categorized by each person,
electronic-mail
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electronic mail
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, and telephone in the first semester of 2011. From an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, it can be seen that
in person
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in-person
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and by telephone have
a
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apply
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similar upward
trends
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trend
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
the letter/email approach experienced a reversed manner over the period shown. Examining the details, in the first
month
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of 2011,
face-to-face
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the face-to-face
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method started as the lowest number at below 500, and in the next two
months
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months,
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it
has
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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gradual increase
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gradually increased
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to exactly 800. For the next quartal, the data climbed significantly to almost 1900 in the
last
Linking Words
of June, making it
as
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apply
show examples
the highest number of questionnaires
within
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among
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the others.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in January, by call
placed
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was placed
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as
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was
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the most preferable
tools
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tool
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, being more than 800 data.
However
Linking Words
, in the next
Use synonyms
month
Add a comma
month,
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there was a noticeable decline to exactly 800. There was
a
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apply
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growth to 1000 in March and April
,
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apply
show examples
and rose to 1600 in the
last
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
listed on the graph.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the most interesting point was for the letter/email.
Although
Linking Words
there were almost 800 favour writing types in the earlier, the trend witnessed a gradual decline to nearly 700 both in February and March
,
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apply
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and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
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dropping slightly to less than 400 in the
last
Linking Words
two
Use synonyms
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
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. The total number made it
as
Correct word choice
apply
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the least
chose
Wrong verb form
chosen
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methods
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method
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by people among others.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words month with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Questionnaire
  • Tourist Information Office
  • Individual submission
  • Letter/email communication
  • Telephone survey
  • Fluctuation
  • Stable trend
  • Gradual increase
  • Varied patterns
  • Surpassed
  • Significant rise
  • Seasonal peak
  • Tourist behavior
  • Information campaign
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