The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.

The line graph indicated the information about the number of questionnaires collected from Tourist Information office in a city based on individual, letter/email and telephone by first 6 months in 2011.
The present line graph shows how the data of surveys gathered from
Add an article
the visitors
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visitors
Change noun form
visitors'
visitor's
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information
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
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in a region categorized by each person,
electronic-mail
Correct your spelling
electronic mail
show examples
, and telephone in the first semester of 2011. From an
overall
perspective, it can be seen that
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
and by telephone have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar upward
trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
trend
show examples
,
while
the letter/email approach experienced a reversed manner over the period shown. Examining the details, in the first
month
of 2011,
face-to-face
Add an article
the face-to-face
show examples
method started as the lowest number at below 500, and in the next two
months
Add a comma
months,
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it
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gradual increase
Replace the word
gradually increased
show examples
to exactly 800. For the next quartal, the data climbed significantly to almost 1900 in the
last
of June, making it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest number of questionnaires
within
Change preposition
among
show examples
the others.
Additionally
, in January, by call
placed
Add a missing verb
was placed
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
was
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the most preferable
tools
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tool
show examples
, being more than 800 data.
However
, in the next
month
Add a comma
month,
show examples
there was a noticeable decline to exactly 800. There was
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
growth to 1000 in March and April
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and rose to 1600 in the
last
month
listed on the graph.
In contrast
, the most interesting point was for the letter/email.
Although
there were almost 800 favour writing types in the earlier, the trend witnessed a gradual decline to nearly 700 both in February and March
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
dropping slightly to less than 400 in the
last
two
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
. The total number made it
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the least
chose
Wrong verb form
chosen
show examples
methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
show examples
by people among others.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words month with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.

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