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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram illustrates the Life Cycle process of frogs in a pond. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the Life Cycle process of frogs in a pond. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#life #cycle #process #frogs #pond #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The
digram
Correct your spelling
diagram
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 shows the life of a
frog
 from infancy to adulthood. The process may seem complex but it is quite straightforward owing to the fact that the stages of its life cycle are similar to each other. At
first,
a mother
frog
 lays
egges
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eggs
 in the pond and the hatchlings
would be
Wrong verb form
are
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 born in the pond where they reside for
sometime
Replace the word
some time
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. The next stage is called embryo, in
this
 time
a
Correct article usage
the
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 shape of
infant
Correct article usage
an infant
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frog
 is vastly
diffrent
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different
 from its adult one and it is more like the microbiomes.
Due to
 the fact their lungs
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not yet able to get oxygen from
air
Add an article
the air
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, they are to remain in
water
Add an article
the water
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 until they are grown.
Therefore
 they spend
sometime
Replace the word
some time
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 in the pond.
However
 it is not without any
deveploment
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development
 and after a phase called tadpole, they start to grow limbs and their front legs will break through.
Following
this
 , the creature will start being able to
breath
Replace the word
breathe
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 not only
under water
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underwater
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 but on land as well.
Hence
this
 marks the start of pulmonary breathing . When the
frog
 reaches land and starts
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 tapdole
pahse
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phase
 it will slowly lose its tail and
limbs
Correct pronoun usage
its limbs
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 will grow longer and
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of that it will start to take the regular form of an adult
frog
.
Submitted by parsaj1381 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words frog with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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