IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

, The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.

, The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.
#show #proportion #people’s #european #country #commodities #services
The pie charts illustrate the amount of people's money that they spent on various commodities and services in a European country in 1958 and
in
Change preposition
apply
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2008
Overall
, in 1958 humans preferred to spend their budget mostly
to
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on
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meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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, housing and clothing.
However
, in 2008 adults
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
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 their
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
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 for housing,
then
 for
traveling
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travelling
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 and for different luxury goods (both 17%). The most noticeable thing in
first
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the first
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 chart is that many adults used 72% of the whole budget
to
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for
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 necessary staff
such
 as food,
houses
Wrong verb form
housing
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 and clothes.
Other part
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Another part
Other parts
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 of
bill
Add an article
the bill
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, nearly
third
Correct article usage
a third
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 % of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 they
splended
Correct your spelling
spend
to
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on
show examples
 entertainment, some luxury things and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
sales in 2008, the biggest percentage of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
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 went to housing, 32% respectively.
On
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In
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 the second place,
traveling
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travelling
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 and luxuries were very popular for humans,
Correct article usage
a totally
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totally
Replace the word
total
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34
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of 34
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percentages
Replace the word
per cent
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. To compare products in luxury categories,
itwas
Correct your spelling
it was
 most unpopular for humans in 1958.
Submitted by olqa.zvereva01 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • expenditure
  • commodities
  • services
  • necessities
  • luxury goods
  • trends
  • significant changes
  • expenditure
  • housing and utilities
  • summarize
  • highlight
  • primary trends
  • fifty-year period
  • economic growth
  • technological advancements
  • societal values
  • analyze
  • observe
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