IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparison
The bar chart depicts the difference between the average weekly spending of families in one country in 1968 and in 2018.
Overall
, in both centuries families almost half of their income was spent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 "Food, housing and clothing" .
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 it can be seen that "food" was a leader in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption but it
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 dramatically
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 18%
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 lost 1st place in the diagram and
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 under "housing" and "leisure". As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen, "food" enormously
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 from just over a third of all weekly income to 17%
while
 "housing"
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
to 19% from 10% which
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that they are almost doubled.
Additionally
, "clothing" which had
a similar percentages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a similar percentage
similar percentages
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 "housing"
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 halved in 50 years.
Therefore
, we should pay
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper attention to "leisure". It increased
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
threefold to 21%. Other sections like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
"fuel and power",
"personal
Correct word choice
and "personal
show examples
 goods" decreased for a small minority and spending for "transport" doubled
while
 "household goods" remained stable.
Submitted by talgattan4ez on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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