IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The most effective way to solve the current traffic and pollution problem in cities is to encourage people to move from suburbs and countryside into the city centre. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Urbanization
Use synonyms
 is the best variant
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 solving live
traffic
Use synonyms
 updates and environmental contamination troubles. But based on my personal knowledge, I strongly disagree.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I believe that
urbanization
Use synonyms
 will worsen these issues. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I'll first discuss why
urbanization
Use synonyms
 is not a solution and when, and
then
Linking Words
 I recommend alternative solutions that do not involve moving rural people to the city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. Nowadays, in a majority of countries, the whole
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 process of
urbanization
Use synonyms
 is escalating enormously. Most of them mistakenly think that especially
urbanization
Use synonyms
 is a solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 current
traffic
Use synonyms
 and pollution problems.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 point of view
flawed
Add a missing verb
is flawed
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, relocation
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 from
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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 to urban areas can lead to increased
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion.
Because urban
Correct word choice
Urban
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 overpopulation puts additional pressure on the transportation infrastructure, resulting in
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams, longer travel times, and deteriorating air quality. My alternative approach to
this
Linking Words
 problem, which doesn't include two movements to the city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, consists
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 promoting remote work and flexible working, how ours can help alleviate
traffic
Use synonyms
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
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. It means that when companies allow employees to work from home or adopt flexible schedules, fewer people need to commute during peak hours,
this
Linking Words
 can significantly decrease the number of vehicles on the road.In conclusion,
urbanization
Use synonyms
 worsens
traffic
Use synonyms
 and pollution.
Instead
Linking Words
, promoting remote work and flexible schedules can reduce congestion and emissions, addressing these issues without the negative impacts of increasing city populations.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your ideas are fully developed and clearly linked to each other. Consider using more sophisticated linking words and phrases to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear purpose, and check that your arguments and examples directly support your main points. Providing more specific examples can strengthen your argument.
language
Be careful with grammar and vocabulary. While minor errors were present, they didn't obstruct understanding. Precision can improve clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position and stays focused on the topic. This shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion both effectively frame the essay and reiterate your main points, adding to the overall cohesion.
task achievement
You offer alternative solutions to the problem presented, which showcases critical thinking and a comprehensive response to the task.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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